Page 40 of The Verdict

“What does your tattoo mean?” She nodded to where I was still absentmindedly rubbing the stenciled numbers at my wrist.

I dropped my hand, feeling my chest tighten.Danger,it warned.

“Dog tag number.” I moved to line up my shot.

“Yours?”

I let the cue fly with an effortless strike, hitting the number ten ball only to have it land an inch away from my intended pocket. I muttered a curse.At least it was the right group of balls.I purposely ignored Talon’s stare and turned back to Merritt.

“No,” I said, resisting the urge to rub it again, the memory of what—of who it represented—making the skin tingle. “A friend we lost on our last mission. We all have his number…”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” The sympathy in her voice was genuine,just like the wash of pain in her eyes. This woman knew loss. Knew the toll it took. Knew the things it could drive you to do.

And damn, if it wasn’t the most disconcerting thing to realize that without knowing anything about him, she knew everything.

“Me too.” Ryan’s face came to my mind. Not like I’d last seen him—he wouldn’t want that. I remembered Ryan the way he’d wanted to live. On the edge. No regrets. With motorcycles and a pierced dick and a full life ahead of him—the lives we all now had because of him.

She pushed up the long sleeve of one of Rob’s tees, turning so I could see the inside of her elbow and two lines of numbers inked delicately into the crease. “I have my parents’ birthdates,” she murmured and pulled the sleeve back down. “Will it ever feel like the memories are enough?”

I tensed and reached for my wrist, my thumb pressing into the tattoo like it could stamp out my heavy pulse.Memories of the people we’d lost? Or the memory of each other?

“Merritt…”

We careened toward a tipping point, like a runaway train heading for the end of the tracks; there was nothing I could do to stop it, only brace myself for the impact and consequences when it came.

“Isn’t it about time for you to serenade us, Rhys?” Talon drawled and clapped a hand on my shoulder, breaking the moment.

Merritt stepped back and matched Talon’s grin with a smile, all traces of ache wiped expertly from her face.

“Of course.” I shoved aside the gnawing emotion and did what I did best—pretended like everything was just fine. But when I caught Harm and Dare’s gazes as I strolled by them and around the couch, I wondered if I wasn’t as good at pretending anymore.

It was hard to hide things from men you’d seen battle with. Men you’d faced life and death and loss with. They could see I was attracted to her—knew I’d already slept with her. But I wouldn’t let it happen again. I knew the code—knew the consequences.

I went to the corner of the room and pulled out my hurdy-gurdy from the closet. The wood frame rested its familiar weight against my chest and spun the handle, the low hum of the drone filling the room. The strange-looking instrument was the awkward love child of a violin and piano that sounded like bagpipes.

My eyes instantly found Merritt’s across the room as my fingers took up their posts on the keys. I did a quick strum over the notes before I settled on a chord, having the full attention of my waiting crowd. My head lolled side to side while I tried to decide on a song. I should’ve done something lively—something classically Irish that would have everyone clapping and laughing.

But that would be fake.

The sentiment in the room was too heavy for that. Uncertain of change.Untrusting.

And then a tune found its way to my fingertips, the keys humming the melody into the room as my tenor layered on the lyrics of reflections in mirrors and snow-covered hills. A song that might’ve been about a father-daughter relationship… or about how easily love could take you down.Real,in either case.

After the first verse of ‘Landslide’by Fleetwood Mac, Daria joined me at the small piano in the corner of the room, the keys and her soft voice adding something deeper to the song.

Harm was by her side after a minute, and three became a crowd for the corner, so I started to walk around the room, moving to the sway of the beat. My shoulder brushed Ty’s where he leaned over the bar, sipping straight whiskey from hisglass. I caught something in his eyes—a different hurt he kept buried before he looked away. Next came Dare. I forced a wide, easy smile and sang,What is love?The answer must’ve been at the bottom of his glass because he drained what was left in it.

Meanwhile, I moved on to her.

I couldn’t hold my smile the way she looked at me. It faltered and fractured like the veneer she knew it was. Underneath it, everything that was real was injured and guarded, brought back in pieces buried in my marrow from a failed mission that claimed a friend.

I stopped just in front of her. Another inch, and we’d be touching.

Red washed over her cheeks, her full lips parting as desire swirled around us like a thick, warm fog. I ached to pull her into my arms, so instead, I held the hurdy-gurdy tighter. I hungered to kiss her the way I’d fantasized about, so instead, my lips caressed each lyric. The song was my invisible shield; as long as I was singing, it was okay to get closer.

And closer.

And closer.

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