Page 125 of The Vow

Pain bloomed in my chest—in what felt like the vacant cavern that continued to fill endlessly with the pain of his loss. It was easier the first time he’d left me to ignore how I loved him; I was too busy hating him for what I’d thought he’d done, but now I had no recourse.

I loved Damon, and he was gone. And the way he haunted me now was worse than the pain of hating him had ever been.

Every time I closed my eyes, it was to see his face. The look of fear on his chiseled features when he told me to run. The sheer agony that ripped through him when Peter stabbed him in the side. And then his pale, lifeless form carried away by the FBI agents.

Weeks ago, this was the end I’d hoped for—an end I’dworked decades to see. Belmont brought down. GrowTech dismantled. And Damon in custody.

“I will be your end. Not as your wife but as the reason you end up in cuffs being hauled away by the FBI…”

Now, I hated the woman who’d said those words; she had no idea how many new places a heart could break.

My breath caught, and I quickly answered, “Better, but not okay,” hoping he didn’t catch the crack in my emotions.

“It will be.” His hand landed on my shoulder, a warm weight in the middle of the cold grief that surrounded me. “This isn’t how it ends for you.”

How do you know?I wanted to scoff. Just because the rest of them had found love in the darkest of places and against the odds didn’t mean that could happen for me. None of them had loved the most wanted criminal in the world.

“Have you heard anything?” I asked, unable to say anything else or care about anything else, really.

Harm’s mouth thinned. “Not since he recovered from surgery and was released from the hospital.”

Released was an ironic choice of word. Damon would never be released. The FBI hadn’t even admitted to having him in custody. God only knew what their plans for him were…what they would do to him for the things he’d done.

I bit my lip just as it started to quiver.

“Give it time. We’ll figure out what’s going on. We’re pulling on every string, every friend, every favor we’ve got, and we’re still waiting to hear back from some contacts in the Bureau.”

My brothers had explored every possible avenue to learn what was happening or going to happen to my husband, yet the answers were just as evasive as Damon had been all these years.

“He’s not coming back.” My voice was almost imperceptible. “He was never planning on coming back.”

“For you, I will gladly end up in cuffs.”

How many times had he so eagerly, so charmingly promised to end up in custody because I said it was what I wanted? How many times had I thought it was just another part of his plan to con me back into his arms?

The whole time he’d told me nothing but the truth.

That he’d always loved me. That he’d always been faithful. That he’d do whatever it took to protect me…including turning himself in.

“I don’t believe that, and neither do you.”

“What else am I supposed to believe?” I fired back, turning my head away, the pain blinding me. “Why else would he have done what he did?”

“What other choice did he have?”

Anything, I wanted to scream. Damon had any other choice but to sacrifice himself like this.

But did he?The tiniest voice inside my head asked.

In the days I’d spent confined to bed, recovering from my injuries, I pieced together what happened at the chalet. Damon had called Pat, that was the truth, but it was never to bring reinforcements to get us out. At least, not the kind of reinforcements I’d assumed. He’d called Pat to have the man tip off the FBI to his location.

Damon chose self-destruction over salvation. Because of me. To protect me.

All this time, he’d never lied to me about his motives. There was nothing and no one he wouldn’t destroy to keep me safe, including himself.

“You haven’t heard from…anyone?” Harm probed gently, but no matter how softly the question turned on his tongue, there was no easing the destruction caused by a twisting knife.

Three weeks had gone by, and I hadn’t heard anything. Not from Damon, obviously. Not from the FBI, who’d taken myinitial statement at face value and hadn’t come back to probe. But neither had I heard from Pat or Nonna. I wondered if they were in hiding with Damon in custody.

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