Page 104 of Three Pucks and a Baby

“Isn’t that enough?”

“I’m afraid not.”

Tightening my hands on the arms of the chair, I growled, “This is bullshit.”

“Perhaps you need to sit in quiet reflection rather than speaking about what happened?”

I shook my head. “No. I want you to fix me.”

“Only you can do that.”

“If that’s the truth, then why am I here?”

“To get the tools you need to fix yourself.”

Groaning, I pinched the bridge between my eyes. “Would you stop with the psychobabble bullshit and just tell me what I need to do to ensure I never hurt Vivian or my kid?”

Dr. Zeller’s brows shot up. “Your child?”

I smirked at him. “It’s part of that long story.”

To my surprise, Dr. Zeller smirked back. “Then I suppose you better start at the beginning.”

With a slow shake of my head, I replied, “You’re pretty good.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You tricked me emotionally and steamrolled me into submission.”

Dr. Zeller grinned. “I like to call it the Zeller Zamboni.”

“It’s a good one.”

“Quit stalling and start talking.

With ten minutes left on the clock, I prowled around Dr. Zeller’s office. I’d come out of my chair about thirty minutes into our appointment. Instead of telling me to sit down, Dr. Zeller tossed me a puck. I didn't even bother asking where the hell it had come from. Instead, I just kept hurling emotional vomit at him.

I had to admit the puck was a nice touch. Something about running my fingers over the rough edges soothed me. I rarely handled them without my gloves.

Instead of starting in my childhood, I began trauma dumping from the present. To his credit, Zeller didn’t even flinch when I unloaded about my threesome superstition, hooking up with Vivian, and my potential fatherhood.

Eventually, he got me to focus on what I was feeling for Vivian. After all, it was the reason why I’d come to therapy in the first place.

“I’ve never had a long-term relationship.”

“One might reason there is a first time for everything,” Dr. Zeller suggested.

“While that might be true, I’m not sure I can.”

“You won’t know until you try. From what you’ve told me, you feel Vivian is worth trying for.”

“But it’s not just about me.”

“You mean the two other members of your relationship?”

“Yeah.”

Dr. Zeller eyed me curiously. “Is it because you fear losing control?”

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