Page 87 of Three Pucks and a Baby

Those haunting words kept echoing in my ears some forty-eight hours later. I couldn’t eat, and I’d barely slept. Whenever I did fall asleep, I’d have nightmares of vampire babies chasing me, sucking my blood, and eventually killing me. I didn’t have to be a Psych major to realize what the dreams symbolized.

Becoming a father would be the death of the life I knew and loved.

It wasn’t just my fear of impending fatherhood torturing me. Part of my turmoil was due to the horrible way I’d reacted to the news. I’d been an absolute and complete bastard to Vivian. My chest clenched at the thought that I had caused her pain.

With all the sex I had, there was always a small fear of pregnancy in the back of my mind. But I’d always thought that with condoms I’d be safe. Most of the girls I was with were also on birth control, so we were double-covered.

Considering Vivian’s age, I just assumed she was on birth control. I’d seriously fucked up not checking. Now we were all staring down the gun of potential fatherhood.

Not only had I fucked things up with Vivian, I’d done it with my two best friends. To say that things had been tense between me and the guys since Vivian’s pregnancy announcement two days ago would be an understatement. We hadn’t spoken since I’d stalked out. Although it was easy to stay the fuck out of their way at the house, it was harder at practice.

Yesterday, our animosity bled over into hockey practice when the two started belting pucks at me much harder than necessary. When I slammed one back at Grayson that dinged him in the helmet, he’d skated over and whacked me in the shin with his stick. Although my pads protected me, I still shoved my stick to the ice before launching myself at him.

“FIGHT!” someone shouted.

After some of the guys pulled us apart, Coach Murano came barreling up. “What the fuck is going on?” he bellowed.

Refusing to look at each other, Gray and I merely shrugged.

“In four years of coaching the two of you, I’ve never seen you go after each other.”

“I’m just stressed with the potential scouts,” I lied.

“Bullshit,” Coach barked, causing Grayson’s eyes to bulge. Jabbing his finger at us, he replied, “Knock it off and play nice, or I’ll bench you both.”

The threat of being relegated to bench-warming was all we needed

Today when I entered the weight room for my morning workout, Grayson and Bennett were already at one of the benches. At the sight of me, they glanced up. While Gray shot me a disgusted look, Bennett bobbed his head in acknowledgment.

When I turned my head and ignored him, he growled. “All right, that’s it.”

As he started over to me, Grayson said, “What the fuck, B? You’re supposed to be spotting me.”

After whirling around and quickly helping Gray ease the bar back on the rack, Bennett stalked up to me. Jabbing a finger at me, he said, “I let you wallow in your assholery for the last forty-eight hours, but I’m done. I’m done with what it’s doing to our friendship, but most of all, I’m done with you hurting Vivian.”

“Back the fuck off,” I snarled.

Bennett shook his head. “Not this time.”

Glaring at him, I asked, “What are you going to do, Bennie? Hit me again?”

“If that is what it fucking takes.”

“Then Coach will bench both of our asses,” I replied.

“So be it.”

“Don’t fuck yourself over for him,” Grayson interjected.

“Stay out of this, Gray.” As Grayson grumbled under his breath, Bennett stared into my eyes.

“Come on, Theo. Talk to me.”

At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to run away. To keep burying my feelings down and keeping my best friends at arm’s length. But I was tired of facing all this shit alone. I imagined if I was exhausted from the weight now, how the hell was I going to be feeling in another week or two? What about a month?

More than anything, I wanted to be able to commiserate with the guys and share the burden. Well, at least as much as I allowed myself to share my feelings.

Unable to bear it any longer, I blurted, “I’m fucking scared, okay.”

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