Page 59 of Rising

Amaia

Isighed heavily, watching the dark blue ocean and crashing waves as I sat atop a large rock on the edge of the beach. Sea otters were sprawled out in my peripheral. The day was nice, not too hot as the mid-September weather took over on the bay. In The Before, I’d probably be convincing Sammy to some stupidly intense outdoor workout class or dragging Xavier to get bottomless mimosas on a restaurant patio.

It was beyond stupid for me to be out here alone, unprotected, but I just needed a moment to catch my breath. To pretend that I wasn’t responsible for keeping thirty thousand people alive and protected. That it wasn’t up to me and the people I loved to figure out what terror was being released out into the world and why we were a target.

Each day was a struggle, putting on a neutral face, not letting any of the emotions I wanted to succumb to show. I refused to let the people I loved down again, but I wasn’t young and dumb, maybe reckless at times but certainly no fool. I knew where this was all headed. There would be a cost to shutting down whatever evil Tomoe was focusing on. It had been two weeks since she’d set her sights on figuring out more from her foreboding vision, and nothing had come of it.

Not for a lack of trying. I’d witnessed my friend become a shell-shocked version of her fierce self. Her skin paler than usual, eyes haunted and dark circles claimed the spaces beneath them. The long silky, raven colored hair that usually swung as she walked was matted and unkempt. She hadn’t left her room in days, determined to learn more and frustrated that she’d been mentally blocked. Only able to recall the same vision, over and over but was stopped shy of channeling any other information.

Religious and spiritual books stacked on her coffee table. Torn out pages strewn about, marked up. I wasn’t quite sure what she was researching, though I recognized some from my own studies. Mythologies, and philosophical teachings. Historical research on ancient cultures and their practices.

It was new territory for us all. Once someone with Moe’s gifts had you in their mind or merely seen you once, they’d be able to tie themselves to you, channel you for targeted visions. But with the faces blurred out in her visions, it made things harder. She didn’t know who they were, which only added more questions. Questions ofwhytheir faces appeared blurred in the first place.

It’s okay, I’d told her,don’t kill yourself over this. It’s not worth it.

If it’s not me, then it’ll be a dozen more, she’d implied.

The words burned at the etches of my soul to hear, but I knew she was right. And though I was willing to burn down the world to keep my friends safe, I knew they felt the same about me, and I refused to take that opportunity away from her. Even if I felt my life wasn’t worth dying for, Reina, Seth, Riley, Prescott, Luna, hell in the last few weeks I’d be willing to bet even Alexiares, were worth it to her. It didn’t matter if I cut myself out the equation.

So outside the walls I went. Deciding to savor this moment of sadness and allow myself to feel, but not brave enough to do it in the sanctity of my own room, behind closed doors where I could plunder and become lost in myself for months at a time. And after a few hours of tears, of dry heaving, and shamefully licking the rim of an empty bottle of tequila, I’d be able to put on a brave face once more. Continue to lead my people through this never-ending nightmare.

The feeling of a set of eyes fell upon on my back and I turned around, throwing knife out in one hand, fire simmering in the other.

“You look like shit,” Alexiares greeted, hands in the pockets of his khaki-colored cargos, striding towards the rock next to me.

I groaned, tossing my head back and feeling my curls tickle along the nape of my neck and down my shoulders. “Oh come on! My last hiding spot, and even that’s been compromised. I’m seriously going to punch Reina.”

“She didn’t tell me. I tracked you.” He tossed his hands up in a sign of peace. “Would’ve been a bit harder if there wasn’t a literal trail of tequila leading up to this sad little corner of the beach.”

Not that peaceful, I guess. “I dumped it.”

“I know.”

He took a seat next to me, our feet dangling at the water’s edge, the waves crashing against the shore, I couldn’t help but feel the weight of our past and present struggles bearing down on us. The ocean stretched before us, a vast and mysterious expanse that both terrified and enchanted me. It held secrets beyond imagining, depths that had never been fully explored. Yet, despite its dangers, I found comfort in the constant ebb and flow of the waves. A gentle nudge that life was never stagnant and that even in our darkest moments, there was always the possibility of a new beginning.

My mother had always told me that the waves were a symbol of resilience, a sign that life would persist even in the face of great adversity. As we watched them crash against the rocks, I couldn’t help but think that they were more than just a force of nature. These waves had existed long before humanity, and would continue long after we were gone. They were a testament to the enduring cycle of life, and the unstoppable power of nature. Despite our attempts to tame and control it, the ocean would always prevail, a reminder of our own fragility in the face of something greater than ourselves.

He interrupted the silence, and I met his pained eyes as he spoke. “Good place to come if you wanna focus on all of your life’s problems. Ever think about just jumping in? Save everyone else the pain of having to deal with your chaos. Your destruction.”

The words echoed in my mind. He was talking to me, about me, but also about himself at the same time, the barely noticeable accent creeping forth once more, “Yeah, and what problems could you possibly have? Daddy never loved you? Couldn’t find anyone else to either? No, let me guess, mom chose the pill bottles over raising you?”

He chuckled, breaking our gaze. “You expecting me to believe that with a shitty attitude like yours, that yours loved you?”

“He’s the one that warned me about people like you. To tread carefully.”

His warm brown eyes darkened as he rose to his feet, boots sinking in the wet sand. “Ya know, you keep saying that, but you haven’t taken a moment to learn a damn thing about me.” He moved behind me, forcing me to swivel away from the water though I was sure to keep myself centered in case this turned physical.

“Twice now,” he continued, “I’ve saved your friends. That’s two separate occasions that I had the opportunity to let them die, should have let them die if I based anything onyouractions. If I was as shitty or as callous and calculating as you claim, I would have. But I didn’t, yet you still treat me as if I’m the villain.”

I remained seated, glaring down my nose at him, refusing to fall to his intimidation. “Didn’t realize it was so important for you to have my favor.”

“It’s not,” he deadpanned.

“Yeah, I’m not about to do this here. Not in my lastsecret spot. Do me a favor and don’t let the waves hit your ass on the way out.” I ground my jaw before turning back around, trying to settle into my feelings once more.

Still feeling his obnoxious presence, I found him standing behind me pathetically. His lips parting in a way that led me to believe he had some secret he was waiting to spill out.

I tossed my hands off my lap and craned my neck. “Oh my gosh, please go.”

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