Page 83 of Echoes of War

“I thought it infuriated you for me to and I quote,callyou by your government name, unquote,” I said, still trying to defuse the situation.

“I’m being serious, Amaia. Keep calling me Alexiares.” He refused to meet my eye, instead turning his head back to stare at the photo from the game.

“Why?”

“It sounds right when it comes from you,” Alexiares declared.

I took a few breaths, my heart beating quickly inside my chest. “Only me? Not anyone else?”

Maybe this conversation wasn’t headed where I thought it was, but I couldn’t help but feel like it was still taking a turn I wasn’t yet ready for. I felt a lot of things for Alexiares, but our relationship had been fast tracked. Intense.

Everything about us ranged from one level of intensity to the next, nothing simmered, nothing grew overtime. I was terrified. Things that burn quickly tend to burn out. I didn’t want that for us. You don’t get to decide how love burns though, not when your heart guides that path.

“I go by Alexi because Alexiares is too fucking close to my father’s name,” he declared. “Alexiares is whathecalled me.”

“You want me to call you the name that someone you can’t stand used to call you by? I’m confused.” And I was, that didn’t make sense to me. Sure, I wasn’t ready for everything he appeared ready to offer me, but that didn’t mean I was ready for him to hate me again, either.

“Don’t be, it’s simple. My mother, Evander”—his voice caught on his brother’s name—“Tiago … the people who knew me the best, the people who loved me, the ones who spoke to me with kindness, they called me Alexi. So Alexi it was, for years. But with you, you make me proud to be Alexiares. You put strength and love back into my name, so for you, you call me Alexiares and don’t ever stop.”

I smiled at that, a sense of pride running through me. Something else too … joy. No, joy didn’t cover that flutter in my stomach moving toward my heart. It was something else, something I realized maybe I was growing against my better judgment, against my wishes for myself.

My hands found the sides of his face, brushing his hair out the way. Blood still covered his mouth, the under parts of his eyes but that didn’t stop me from pulling him in for a kiss. He turned his head at the last moment.

“What’s wrong?” I frowned.

“I think you know that conversation from the woods isn’t over.”

Damn it, there goes that I guess.

“What conversation?” I said, giving him an innocent, doe-eyed blink that I knew he couldn’t resist.

“Cut the shit, Amaia,” Alexiares bellowed. “You know damn well what I’m talking about. You don’t trust me.”

An odd sense of fury washed over me, not liking the way he’d made me vulnerable before proceeding to have a tough discussion. It felt manipulative in a way. Funnily enough, I knew we had both manipulated each other during the conversation. Using the way we knew how the other felt to try to steer the outcome of the inevitable topic we now landed on. The only reason rage seared through me was because his plan had worked—I’d fallen right into his trap—and mine had not.

I slid off the couch, pacing the room as I tugged on my matted curls. I’m sure I was an unsightly creature to see at this moment. It wasn’t as though he was in any better condition; we kind of looked like Pansies if I thought about it. Biting back a laugh, I focused my thoughts. His head followed me with each step, eyes hard and unforgiving as he awaited my response.

“Didn’ttrust you,” I said thoughtfully. “I trust you now, you know that.”

No dice. Alexiares rose a brow, not cutting me any slack. “You don’t seem bothered by what Finley had to say.”

“Because I’m not.”

His pupils dilated, and I diverted my eyes back to the ground. “Why not?”

The question stopped me in my tracks. I honestly didn’t know how to answer that question. Lying was an option, but the thing was, oddly enough, I didn’twantto lie to him. Not anymore, not ever again. It would almost be as if I were lying to myself, but it wasn’t my truth to tell. There was always the option to omit the truth, work my way around it, but it still felt a bit dirty.

“Lying through omission is still a lie,” he said through his teeth, as if he had a front-row seat to my thoughts.

I crossed my arms, my stubbornness pushing to the surface. “It’s not my place to say.”

“I thought we were a team,” Alexiares pushed.

Damn him. Damn him for trying to use that against me. He knew we were a team, knew I trusted him with things I didn’t trust the others with. Confided in him with some of the darker things I was capable of that I didn’t want Moe, or Reina, or even Riley to see.

“We are,” I ground out.

“No, we’re not.” He was pissed. An unimpressed glare greeted me when I found the courage to meet his gaze once more. “Not until you stop hiding things, until then, I’m just your side-kick. Your lapdog.”

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