Page 129 of Ashes of Honor

“Then why stay?” I couldn’t help myself. I was curious. Everyone had a story. Though hers would make no difference in my opinion of her, I was a Nosey Nancy.

“There are worse places to be. I heard you crossed Yellowstone with only your brother at your side. You’re aware of what’s out there.”

“Yeah and look.” I gestured to myself. “I didn’t come out the other side a villain. And before you start telling me that our circumstances were different, save it. I don’t care, Finley. Keep your sob story. What? I bet you’re telling me because you think I’m the weak one, the one you can manipulate the easiest? You made your choices and some of them hurt the people I love.”

Finley laughed softly, the sound bitter as she turned the shower on. I turned away, giving her a shred of privacy, and then it slapped me across the face. That sadness. It rolled off her like a wave.

“Not at all, actually,” she said, her words muffled against the plopping of water puddled at her feet. “I read people. It’s what I do. How I managed to stay alive all this time. I don’t think you’re weak at all, Reina Moore. I think you’re pretty fucking badass. But, little Reina, you also possess the amount of empathy that made me consider, for a fool’s moment, that you were the one person in this camp I would be able to talk to, and not be bit back.”

Dang my stupid heart. Her words softened me against my will. I glanced over my shoulder, sending her a sliver of peace, as much as I could muster with the amount that I cared. Her eyes revealed everything. Thankyou.

“I tried things her way—Amaia’s. My father and I both did.”

“So what the heck happened?”

“Didn’t work, obviously. I was shown how sick humans can get. You think I’m cruel? I am nothing but a product of terrible surroundings, and the result of what kindness looks like in that town. I could have left. My father wanted to. They had the equipment, the tools—I thought I could help. So, I became what St. Cloud demanded. I chose to be the evil in order for the greater evil to stand down. And turns out, I liked it.Loveit. The power. The way grown men cower when I walk into a room. But everything has its price.”

I opened my mouth, but she cut me off with a sharp, humorless chuckle.

“I doubt I’ll survive this. If Covert doesn’t kill me, one of the many enemies I’ve made throughout the years will. And honestly? I don’t blame them. In retrospect, the person I am, the person I’ve become, is someone that needs to be put down. There’s been things that I’ve done in the name of science and innovation … and then there’s what I’ve done out of pure curiosity. I don’t take any of them back, but I wish other decisions I’ve made had better outcomes. Results that excused what it took to get there. It’s harder up north. Every day is a fight. Against the weather, the dead, or each other. Every damn day.”

“Everyone has to make hard choices,” I said. “If you want to be a better person, then start today. It’s not hard to not act like a … you know.”

She smirked faintly, though her eyes told a different story. Detached. I was pretty sure I was listening to the mumblings of a guilty dead soul.

“You’re adorably optimistically naïve.” She shut off the water and grabbed my brush, pulling it through her wet choppy hair. “Ikilled my father. There’s no coming back from that. Not in this life or with the Lord. That’s what you believe, right?”

“I guess,” I said carefully, staring at my now contaminated brush—the last one I had thanks to Tomoe losing the rest. “I think there’s a God, and that God loves all Earth’s creations because, at their core, there’s good in everyone.”

“You think your daddy is good? Think he’s seeing pearly gates?” A shadow of amusement flickered across her face, and I froze. “Exactly. I spent years working on a cure for my dad. He went into remission right before the bombs dropped. It came back at the same time his magic arrived. All theSeersand magic in the world, and still, nothing worked. So I killed him, but only because he asked me to.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked.

“I had to tell someone. A girl like me? I’ve got no one. Before I die, I need to confess. Don’t you think?”

I stayed silent.

“His condition turned dire and one night, we were going to give it one last shot before giving up.” She laughed, dry and hollow—again her pain inched toward me, barely perceptible. “Cael Thomas was a lot of things; a quitter, he was not. Not until the end. He said his body couldn’t take anymore. He asked me to do the deed—said he wasn’t strong enough to do it himself.”

And suddenly, I understood. Her confession hit a nerve I hadn’t expected. Because I’d been there, too. I’d tried to do the same. In the end, I couldn’t—and she had.

“It wasn’t supposed to be that night.” Finley handed the brush back, her fingers brushing mine for a brief second, colder than I expected. “But I knew if I left that room, I’d never have the courage. So I did it then. On the spot.”

I waited for some kind of emotional response from her—heck, I would’ve accepted a physical one at this point. A nibble of the lip. Maybe the quiver of a brow. Something. Anything. Butnone came. She was back to the same old Finley from before this strange little interaction. Finley shrugged when I offered her no response, as if she hadn’t just spilled the juiciest confession I’d ever heard.

She peered over my shoulder with a smirk, “This is probably going to get weird,” she tugged at leather pants stretched to the limit, the moisture clinging to her skin as she fought to get them on. “Thanks for the therapy session. Tell yourSeershe’s fired.”

And with that, she reached behind me, grabbing an equally tight thermal and dragging it over her wet hair. With a smile, she patted me on the shoulder and pushed her way past. My brain hurt, not understanding what had just happened.I have to stop making myself so approachable.

A tan, calloused hand waved in front of my face, and I blinked, startled back to reality.

“Oh,” I stammered, cheeks flushing as I set my gaze on yet another blonde in front of me, wrapped in nothing more than a waffle robe tied loosely around her athletic frame. “Hey, Millie.”

“Morning, sunshine.” Millie grinned, her shoulder grazing mine as she slipped into the stall that was apparently popular today. The brief contact between us sent a jolt of warmth through the crisp morning air. Her robe slipped from her shoulders and hit the ground—leaving nothing but sun-kissed skin and confidence behind.

I lowered my gaze to the ground, refusing to linger on her long, tan legs. The muscle in them certainly didn’t catch my eye when it hit the dim light perfectly. And her skin certainly did not appear soft as the beads of water dripped down her body.

“Sleep all right?” she asked casually, dropping her head back under the spray of water. The tents were heated making me grateful that at least this place had some kind of luxuries. Steam rose around her, wrapping her in a halo that made it sort of impossible not to steal a glance.

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