Page 13 of Ashes of Honor

“Consider me ecstatic that it’s helpful to your research. Tell me more.”

Reina ran her fingers through her hair and out her face. She sat staring at some sketch with a blank expression. It’dbeen marked up in handwriting I didn’t recognize, notes of recommended changes scribbled off on the sides.

“You’re the one on some war path to help Abel.” I slammed closed the tome in front of me and coughed up the dust. Ever since Reina moved out of her quarters, she’d stopped cleaning as much. I understood no one lived in the back anymore, in her old room, but I thought she’d at least keep up the shared space. It was unusual of her. If I had the energy, I’d bring it up, but I didn’t. “And this is for you. Understanding the Pansie situation is every bit as important now as it was a few months ago.”

“What do you think I’ve been keeping extensive data of, Moe? Injuries.”

She slid the next set of records across the table and I narrowed my eyes in annoyance. “That’s your job, isn’t it?”

“You know what I mean.”

A knock on the door startled us both. Reina gasped at the sudden brisk sound against the thick, glass door. “Need some company?”

Deep, Moore blue eyes lit up at the sight of the man leaning against the door frame. Bronze arms crossed over a simple dark gray t-shirt. I followed the sharp, bulging veins up the slender muscle in his arms up to the cocky smile and hazel eyes of someone I swore I recognized yet, failed to place. My cheeks burned under the scrutiny of his gaze. A more intense, observant leer I wasn’t quite used to outside of Riley or Alexi. Memory teased me. Tomás. The brother of Alexiares’s fallen friend.

“Hi!” Reina said, scooting her rolling chair away from the table and rushing toward him with a hug. “How are you? Never mind, you’re good. I can feel it.”

He offered her an awkward one-armed hug, not expecting the embrace. A reluctant pang slammed through my heart. Since when had Reina decided to be so open about her gifts outside of our group? Everything about our powers was out in the opennow, including Riley. Consequences of war. But still, it wasn’t as though we all walked around, advertising.

“You theSeer?” Tomás asked, eyes not falling off me.

“Sure,” I said, glancing back down at what I’d been researching. “You the twin?”

“Sure.” A smug crackle of a laugh escaped him and I shot him a glare.

“Alexi ditch you again?” Reina asked as though they were familiars. Confusion continued to linger as my scrutiny shifted back toward her.

Tomás shoved his hands in his pockets, crossing the room and leaned against a metal counter stacked with vials. “Nah. Figured I’d check back in on your progress with the arm and see if I could be of value in my down time.”

“Let me guess, you’re no good with idle hands?” I mumbled sarcastically.

“Oh no, I’m great with my hands—idle or not.” He winked, eyes wandering over my body for far too long. “But it’s kind of shitty to not offer help these days when everyone could use some. Wouldn’t you agree?”

My stool nearly toppled over at the pace in which I strode across the floor and shoved two heavy tomes into his chest. “You take last names H and I from The Expanse arrivals.”

He propped his elbows against the counter and tilted his head down to meet Reina’s eye for a clue in. Tomás only stood a few inches taller, but his presence consumed the entire room. Reina’s smile made me want to slap her. She was up to something, and I knew whatever it was, I would absolutely hate that shit.

“Hm. Yeah, what to address first?” A pale finger tapped against her pink lips. “No progress on the arm. Abel wants to see how things go without it so my tests have halted. Just doing some drafts on improvements for when he’s ready. Moe’s goingthrough our archives for Pansie data. Trying to figure out when communication patterns were established with the Pansies and how they evolved. A general timeline on their evolution can help us break down what means what. Got it? You can ask Moe if you need any help, she’s afantasticteacher. Very eager.”

Tomás shook his head slowly, clearly amused by the situation. “Guess I’ll ask a question when I have one.”

“Cool,” I said, finding my way back to my seat. “I prefer working in silence so if you don’t mind.”

Tomás sat down in Reina’s chair at an extremely forward distance, edging closer to the splintered counter. “Trying to get some better light.” He excused himself and ignored my persistent challenge of a stare down.

The kind that said move the fuck back or else. My boots slammed into the ground as I scratched the floor with the movement of my stool. I stopped once my back hit the corner wall. Even an inch between us would be better than sitting arm to arm.

The proximity of a man … someone outside my family … unsettled me. A sin. Like the universe was punishing me with the false sense of closeness. Taunting me with the possibility of what else was out there though there would never be another Seth. And Seth was all I wanted. The old Seth. The one that loved me as much as I loved him. The sweet Seth who spent years keeping his distance until I was ready for our story to unfold.

Seth Moore, the man who held me at night when the visions of Jax’s death haunted me in both my dreams and my waking moments. Seth Moore, the man who was responsible for killing my hope for the future.

Memories. It was all just fucking memories and visions on what almost was. I killed him. I did that. Boldly. Fiercely. Our story ended because I chose myself. My family. There were consequences to the choices we made. Spending forever alonewas mine. Tomás and his flirting may be harmless, but I didn’t want any part of it. I didn’t deserve the flushing of my cheeks or the pitter-patter of my heart under the attention of a man who is just my type. Confident. A little arrogant. Strong. Charming in an unsettling way. All the ingredients for a catastrophe, waiting to ignite. Misery was due to me and I would happily welcome it with open arms.

The room fell to blissful silence as our attention rested upon our individual archives. It wasn’t as though I ever doubted Amaia and Prescott’s insistence on keeping historical records of each of our residents. In fact, I’d always respected it. I’d maintained much of my own family history in The Before and had carried it with me to The After. What wasn’t remembered, was lost and when lore and legends were no longer enough for humans, we’d resort to was written.

Though the fascinating aspect of it all being—if you weren’t interesting enough to be worthy of a memory that outlasted time, then you were forgotten. And now, we had to search through it ourselves. Remember the finer details no one had ever thought to flag, to note.

There may not have been Pansies in the past, but our research regarding how they communicated now was dependent upon the data. There were the usual entry questions, the core three that Amaia asked everyone that arrived at our gates. Then there were those who’d arrived inconsolable, leading us to ask more. Questions that helped Prescott and the others understand the mental state of each victim of the outside world.

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