Page 137 of Ashes of Honor

“All right.” I scanned the faces around the room. “You heard her. No straying, no hesitation. We stay on Lilia’s path, or we don’t make it. Understood?”

Riley’s fingers twitched against his thigh. They traced that same faint, erratic pattern I’d come to recognize as nerves. A habit he did not realize he had, but I noticed it every damn time.

“Okay,” I said, as I moved toward the table a few steps away—deciding to take their silence as an indication to keep talking before they all threw up their nerves.

The war tent was dim, shadows pooling in the corners, the single lamp swaying faintly as if it, too, could sense the unease.Generals and senior officers crowded around the table. The map spread across glared up at me, every line and marking a taunt. My voice was steady as I laid out the plan—splitting into two groups, fighting our way in.

My team would head northeast, skirting the river through West Virginia into Virginia, while Riley’s would go southeast. His team would draw the bulk of Ronan’s forces—hopefully … if all went to plan. As long as Ronan thought I was with him, which we were banking on.

It wasn’t a new plan—I’d walked through it so many times that the words felt hollow now, like repeating a prayer I no longer believed in. But the next part wasn’t about strategy; it was about risk. My risk.

The air in the tent thickened as I said it. “I’ll cross the wards first and a smaller unit can follow my tail.”

Riley’s expression hardened, and Alexiares muttered a slew of vulgar language. Their eyes locked on me, then flicked to each other, silent protests etched across their faces. I pushed forward, pretending not to notice.

“The wards are too unpredictable to send everyone at once. If we trip them, the memories of every soldier will be fucked and so will anyone that follows. If I go first, I can test them. Lilia’s power can anchor me enough to pull back if something goes wrong.”

The generals exchanged concerned glances, but none of them challenged me. Slowly, they filtered out, only my family remained. Their stares pinned me in place, heavy with something worse than doubt—expectation. Like they were already bracing for the inevitable. No one said it out loud, but it was clear the way Riley’s hands curled into fists, in the tight set of Alexiares’s shoulders. Waiting for me to break. Waiting for me to give in.

I refused to give them that.

This was happening. Whether they could accept it or not.

“Can you all please stop looking at me like I’m about to die,” I grumbled, reviewing the map one last time.

“Since no one else here wants to hear you bark back if this is said, I’ll say it for them,” Serenity snapped, cutting through the tension. Her arms crossed over her chest. “The route you’ve chosen to take puts you—and the rest of us by default—in a vulnerable position.”

“Someone has to go first,” I said even as my chest tightened. “We can’t afford to lose numbers to the wards. If it works, we move the others in waves. If it doesn’t?—”

“You lose it all,” Alexiares said bluntly, his eyes dark and unflinching. “And the rest of us are left leaderless, stranded in hostile territory.”

Tomoe’s gaze burned into mine. “It places you into a direct line of fire. Repeatedly.”

“I’m not sitting this one out.” I snapped, though the weight of their stares was unbearable. I traced the map with my fingertips, finding the routes I’d already memorized. “It would be in poor taste to ask my soldiers to do something their general would not. They’ve risked enough, I won’t force them to lose that last part of their humanity if it goes wrong.”

“I don’t know much about this military stuff and all, but I’m almost positive the person at the top isn’t supposed to be, you know,” Reina shifted, her brows furrowing as she glanced at the others and made a vague gesture. “Out there and actually doing stuff.”

“Out there and actually doing stuff,” I muttered with a dry laugh, shaking my head.

Alexiares stepped closer, his hand brushing my lower back—a steadying touch that should’ve calmed me. It didn’t. Instead, it felt off. Disingenuous. My chest burned hotter when I met his eyes. They were filled with something I couldn’t ignore. Concernin the rawest of states. His mask had dropped, no filter or resemblance ofthe Bloodhound. The only person staring back at me, was a man weakened by love.

I hated it. Because it made me weak too. Made my stone-hardened mold I’d been forming over my heart for months, melt away.

The sting hit deep, and I jerked back, my pulse racing with frustration. “I started this war, and I’m going to be the one to stare Ronan in the eyes when it ends.”

“That’s a perfectly reasonable request,” Riley said, and for a second, hope flickered. Then he crushed it. “You can do that when Lola portals us into the city center. It would be irresponsible to allow you to engage beforehand.”

“So what? You wanna take my place? Put yourself in the line of fire?” My voice rose an octave and Riley arched a dismissive brow.

“We are not having this conversation again,” he said, dismissing me with a pointed glance at the others.

“You’re right,” I snapped. “We aren’t because my decision is final.”

The walls closed in with each breath I took. Their eyes trailed me in the suffocating cramped space of this stupid fucking war tent. My skin buzzed. Too hot. Too tight—like the magic inside me was about to free itself whether I was a willing participant or not. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t stay still.

I needed to move, to do something, anything to release the pressure. I lost control. I spun, grabbing the edge of a chair, throwing it across the space.

“Fuck!” The word ripped out of me as the chair clattered to the ground. “I’m doing my best here. Okay? You’re all already so … involved.”

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