Page 32 of Ashes of Honor

With the cut low against his scalp, the detailing on the inked lines running around the side of his head were visible. I knew all of his tattoos held a story, but this one screamed nothing but pain. Wanting that pain to be known. To be visible. It was beautiful—and this cut did nothing but distract me.

“Yeah,” Elie surmised, releasing her light brown curls from her bun. “Well, it’s a bit stuffy with all the new additions.”

“You came back with two feral children. Find a different excuse.”

“And quickly.” I added to Alexiares’s statement, trying not to laugh. Right now I had to be serious. Firm. Elie and a gentle hand didn’t work.

I hated it. I missed just being her friend. The flames went out in the quiet of the room. Elie’s harsh stare didn’t flicker. It was Emma who broke the silence. “I went so she wouldn’t die alone. Can we call my snitching even and you not tell my dad?”

The sudden, sharp sneeze from the younger one made me jump. I’d forgotten they were even in the room. I blinked and bent to their level. My eyes flickered between them. The oldest, a boy, was no older than six which made the state of the smaller one, likely his sister, an even more jarring sight. They looked like hell. I softened a bit. Motioning for them to follow me, I placed them into the bay window, allowing them to watch the citizens of The Compound. A happy distraction for the conversation we were about to have around them. With a simple hand motion, the dogs understood what to do. Harley licked my exposed ankle as she passed by.

Alexiares stood hovering over the girls. Their eyes remained fixed on the floor, their shoulders hunched in the quiet tension of the room. I straightened up and rubbed my temples. My thoughts were soaring, racing through my mind so fast I couldn’t focus on a single one.How the fuck did I end up here?The weight of this past year pressed on my chest at themost inconvenient of times. I couldn’t keep wasting my energy focusing on this shit.

Life had flipped on its head in the blink of an eye. Here I was, playing house, lecturing someone who had been a sister to me, acting as if I were a mother hen. It seemed as if only yesterday Jax and I had our damning conversation about his ideal version of the future. It had shattered my illusions on what we were meant to be. Now, I was here. Living his dream. Playing house. Except in this reality, with a Bloodhound. I’d spent the morning leading. Tomorrow, I’d be back running shit as a general.

Leader today, protector tonight, warrior tomorrow. The constant shifting of roles nearly sent me reeling. A whirlwind of responsibility, decisions, and emotional fucking landmines.

I made my way back over to them. “Explain yourself.”

“There were Pansies. There was a baby crying and a little boy doing his best to draw attention away from the house in a tree,” Elie side stepped my question. “Would you have preferred we left them to die? Seems like that’s a trend around here.”

I fought to keep my cool. Her accusation hung in the air. The challenging gaze directed at me from someone I was accustomed to having nothing my carefree laughs with was heartbreaking. Elie was having a hard time. I knew that. But she refused to talk about what happened every time I tried. Without a way to understand what she was thinking or how she was coping, I found myself lost on how to support her. So I did the only way I knew how, the same way I would one of my soldiers.

“I know it’s easy to relax now that things appear to have calmed down but that would be a mistake. Going outside the wall, doing something this reckless, it could get you killed. Both of you.”

“Something reckless?” Elie snickered at me. “Didn’t know reckless and helping were synonyms.”

“Oh please. Preach to another choir because this one sings the same tune,” I said, tossing a hand in dismissal.

Alexiares let out a low, amused sound, his arms folding casually across his chest as a hint of a smirk plays at the corner of his mouth.

“They were OGs,” Elie added in juvenile confidence. “I think we can handle ourselves.”

Technically, by today’s standards, Elie was an adult. She was closer to seventeen than sixteen and here, that was The Before’s eighteen. Still, I couldn’t help but see her as someone I needed to protect. An extension of me. And some part of me knew she felt the same way. Otherwise she wouldn’t be here. She’d be out on her own, doing as she pleased, instead, she chose to call my home hers—listening to lectures and guidance. Elie did not have to be here. The fact that she was told me enough.

“There were only a few. It’s okay, I promise I won’t let her hurt herself,” Emma said, the reassurance in her eyes admirable. She genuinely thought she could protect them both.

I could see the worry etched into Emma’s tan face. Subtle, but there. Unmistakable. Since the Soulfire explosion, Emma’s confidence had shifted. There was always this hint of trauma in her eyes. Like she had seen death, stared it in the eyes several times and told it to go fuck itself but not walked away without the memory. Emma had a shadow over her that had never quite lifted though she’d been in good hands. Hal had done all that he could to shelter the girls from his grief at the expense of quietly unraveling himself. We all were in our own ways, I supposed. The only option we had however, was to keep pushing forward.

“Wait, all OGs?” I asked. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah,” Elie said slowly, her narrow eyes squinted back at me.

“Supports our reports,” Alexiares leaned in and muttered in my ear. “One week without Ronan’s sack of corpses.”

I mulled it over. We’d try to decode this later. Another topic for another time. Whatever was going on, it wasn’t an act of kindness. With Ronan, nothing ever was. Nothing ever would be. Gifts of sincerity that were meant to maintain the peace weren’t his style of leadership.

“You can’t ever be too cautious. Don’t forget that,” I warned.

Elie’s hands fell to her hips, her face stuck in mockery. “I’m proud of you, Elie. Keep watching out for the small guy, Elie. Don’t forget your humanity, Elie. It’s all we have left, Elie.It’s like I live with a totally different person!”

“You’re mad at me because I want to keep you alive?” I asked, mouth hanging in shock if only for a moment. “I expecteveryoneto keep their wits about them at all times, but especially you. No matter where you are, home or not—with one of us or the dogs or not—no matter the circumstance, you must remain vigilant. The proof of the consequences if you don’t are all around us.”

The room sank into another heavy silence. Stilted, thick air filled with unspoken tension added to the weight of shared despair. No one dared break it this time. Not for a few minutes.

Elie’s brows furrowed against her light brown skin. Irritation flashed across her face, but then, she softened. The tension in her eased as realization dawned in her eyes. “They’re kids, Amaia. One’s pretty much a baby. I don’t care what happens to me. I refuse to walk away. We don’t have to hide to be safe. You gave us the tools. All we need to do is use them. Trust our training. The best use of our skills will always be to help others.Youtaught me that.”

Emma cut in abruptly, trying to reason in their defense. “Casey said their mom and dad were like, killed by some monster or something. Pretty sure that means they got eaten by a Pansie. They don’t have nowhere else to go. Ya know, not everyone has an aunt to grant them access beyond the magical gates.”

---