Page 39 of Ashes of Honor

“Trust me.” I grabbed her hands and shook them. “Trust that I can do this with you. Trust that the others can, too.”

Amaia hesitated briefly, then offered a slow nod. “Okay.”

“I can come?” Relief flooded through me. Then hope abandoned me all the same.

“No,” she said, her curls bouncing as she shook her head. “Alexiares, Abel, and Reina will. I have something I need you to focus on here.” The corner of her mouth quirked into a sinister smile.

Of course. I exhaled and braced myself for whatever chaotic thing was about to pass through her lips. Without question, she was about to throw me headfirst in some challenge she only thought me capable of. Out of everyone here, through all that had changed, I still fit that spot in her life. It was an honor. “All ears.”

“We need to mix things up, security wise. With what I’m about to do, the people I have to hand over … We need a distraction as much as we need people to feel safe inside their homes.”

Her shoulders tensed and I reached forward to touch her shoulder in reassurance. She met my stare, her hand falling over mine as a sad, regretful curve of her lips formed. As Amaia spoke earlier, uncertainty clawed at me.Where was the line drawnanymore? It’s necessary.I told myself, repeating it as a mantra until it was true.

The line was clear, and we were crossing it. Amaia hated that we were with every cell in her body. This was not easy for her. But she was strong. She would shoulder it for us all. Ronan did not possess that moral compass. If what Reina said about her childhood was true, I wasn’t sure he ever did.

“Go on,” I encouraged.

“One, we need patrols. Visible ones. Not just outside our walls, but inside, too. I don’t want people to think I’m watching them or anything, but?—”

“We are watching them. You need them to feel like others are being watched for their safety, but not necessarily themselves?”

“I knew you’d get me.” Her smile was a gentle touch, soothing my soul. “With that, I think we need to bring back town hall. We’re busy, but we aren’t too busy to show face, answer questions, and make people under the impression that they have a say.”

“Because they do.”

“Always will,” Amaia reassured. This was temporary—doing what we needed to survive. Nothing new. “All of this needs to come out as a leak.”

I chuckled. It felt silly to use my network that way. Juvenile. It reminded me a bit of the joke of society we used to call the United States of America. “Why?”

“Because I want the people to feel like they’ve infiltrated us. That they haven’t been left out of things. They’re still top of mind. They found out first. Get where I’m going with this?”

“At some point, our minds will sync up, and we won’t have to talk.”

“I love you, Ril. Think you can get this rolling by the time I’m back?” I nodded, and she grabbed my arm with a tired smile full of misery. The bags under her eyes had deepened even from thismorning. Restless and stressed. Things I couldn’t help her with. Not if she wouldn’t let me. She gathered the remainder of her belongings that Alexiares had left behind and made her way to the door.

But I couldn’t let her go without addressing what was eating away in the back of my mind. “We need to talk about Elie.”

Amaia stiffened, not turning back around. “That can wait until I get back.”

“It really can’t.”

“I’m sure there will be a lot more to discuss with her by the time this is all said and done,” Amaia said, her tone firm as she pulled all her curls to one side. “You’ll tell her what you’ll tell Bietoletti, Tyler, Hollis, and the rest of The Compound while you cover for me. We’re meeting at the border of Monterey and San Jose to re-establish our trade lines now that an agreement has been signed. We’ll be back in two days’ time. The last thing I need right now is Elie and Emma trying to tag along. Make it sound boring.”

I frowned, pulling my locs into a hair tie as I leaned against the table behind us. “Boring? Easier said than done. You know they’ll want to be involved.”

“Exactly. That’s why I need you to make it sound like the dullest mission ever,” she replied. As she finally turned back to face me, I could hear the underlying tension. “Just emphasize how tedious the whole process can be. Trust me, it’ll keep them from getting any bright ideas about following us. Elie doesn’t do boring.”

“Her behavior is concerning, Amaia. It’s dangerous,” I replied, my voice low.

“It is,” she agreed. “You don’t live with her, Riley. Grief hits us all differently. You have to know when to approach and right now, is not that time. At least we can say she isn’t reaching fora bottle of liquor. Nowthatwould be a real uphill battle I’m not sure I’m strong enough to help her fight, so, yeah.”

“Are you sure this is you looking out for her and not yourself?” I asked, needing to clarify my doubts. The last thing I wanted was for her to bear the burden of her decisions alone.

Amaia’s expression shifted, and I could see the hurt in her eyes.How dare you? they said. Instantly, I regretted the words. Maybe she was right; I didn’t live with Elie. If she said it wasn’t the right time, then it wasn’t. “I don’t think I should train her anymore.”

Amaia’s nose scrunched, a mix of surprise and disbelief flashing across her face. I was no quitter. I didn’t give up on my commitments once I made them. “Why not?”

“She despises me. It’s not productive.”

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