Page 56 of Ashes of Honor

I was stuck, lost in her gaze. It softened, melted in a way she would never admit, before she scoffed and turned away. I reached for her, my fingers cupping underneath her chin as I pulled her close. Her lips met mine. Gentle. Sure. Sweet. She leaned her forehead against me, her eyelashes tickling my cheek. The storm inside me quieted. The monster that tore its way free to guarantee her safety finally fell to a hush.

She pulled back and smacked the side of my head. “You’re still a dumbass.”

“Yeah,” I murmured, a wicked edge to my tone. “But I’m yours.”

The engine roared to life and dread filled her features once more. I rested my hand against her thigh and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She wasn’t making this decision alone. As long as she was with me, I’d have her back into whatever came next, consequences be damned.

Tomoe

The sun was out and bright as ever, yet I found myself strolling through the mists of the alleyways and homes nearest The Kitchens. Thin rivulets of water traced along the gutters, vanishing into the stone like veins. The air smelled fresh, damp, carrying the scent of earth and growing things.

It was a great decision on Amaia’s end. Helping the sustainability through technology with a touch of magic in order to utilize the hands that would care for the greenery elsewhere in The Compound. That was how things were these days. Focused on maximizing efforts and exhausting what resources we had.

This little cove of apartments was my favorite. The wrought-iron gateway that serves as an entryway to a sliver of Mediterranean architecture calmed my nerves. Something in me unraveled, thread by thread, until I was just hollow. The strain on my magic was unforgivably taxing on my mental state. Yet, I found no rest when I had a moment to sleep. My mind kept pulling, tugging, yearning for me to fall victim to the world it wanted to show me.

Here—as far ‘in nature’ I could get—was quiet.

There were no kids playing out on the cobblestone, pretending to play Mortals and Zombies. Those days were long gone. Instead, the children of Monterey Compound spent their time preparing for the real thing. Screams of faux terror were a thing of the past. If they were playing, they were working on how to survive, walking through our city as silent as can be. Moving with grace and stealth. It was dystopian as hell.

The windows of the homes that were usually left open for fresh air were shuttered closed. Doors of homes one could freely walk into were now locked. The smiles of the citizens here had the unpleasant resemblance of the forced ones in The Before. With the world around me having changed so much, I yearned for a moment of reprieve where my mind would stop telling me just how bad shit was about to get.

I faltered mid-step. The ground tilted beneath me as my vision smeared like wet paint. The greenery around me blew in the wind around slow and warped. Stretched. My feet refused to move the way I commanded.Not this shit again. Bracing myself against the rough stucco, I tried to shake the fog from my mind. Willing the creeping shadows at the edge of my sight to retreat. I refused to fall out in the middle of The Compound.

Pushing my body forward, I staggered toward the closest place I’d feel safe. A place where no one could see me break. Whatever the universe was intent on me seeing, wanting myattention, and it wanted it now. The clarity of what I saw had intensified since power sharing with the others. After Reina, I not onlysaw, but felt. Experienced the emotions of others as I peered through their eyes. Not in the same way. Certainly not on the same level that it was when I shared my magic with hers directly—but the clarity in which I received them took more out of me than I was accustomed to.

Short of breath, the door opened with ease. Alexiares never locked his shit. He didn’t have to. No one would dare enter without his permission. And he enjoyed the taunt of giving them the chance. There was excitement when he’d explained his reasoning to Amaia over dinner. The chase that would ensue if someone decided they were dumb enough to cross that barrier would make his fucking year.

Sterile. That was the best way to describe the way he chose to keep his space. There was no sign he’d used it, but I knew he was around whenever he wasn’t with Amaia or Riley. Sharp tools hung on the walls, perfectly aligned. The desk? Immaculate. Not a speck of dust. Everything screameduntouchable.Except the corner. Dog bowls and a nest of blankets. The only thing messy, real, about Alexiares’s study. I slung Wrath off my back and pressed it on the ledge of the desk, supporting my weight and testing the sturdiness of the chair.

“I got it.” It was Abel’s voice. A brown hand raised in front of his face, pistol cocked, his finger on the trigger. He pulled it twice. Whimpers ensued. Shaky breaths begged him for mercy.

“Covert, out,” he said. His voice held no strength. There was hesitation there. Like he was acting against his interests in carrying out this task. “Or I … well, out now before he decides what to do with you. Everyone else, decide who’s driving. We’ll see you tonight. South Gate.”

Abel’s head turned slightly, and he watched Alexiares take his retreat away from the van. He glanced back up and heldReina’s tearful stare. She looked back inside at the occupants of the van and offered them a sympathetic nod.

I lost my footing. Knees buckling and kissing the hard, cold floor. My mind felt as though it were splintering in half. It wanted me to focus on the vision. On my mission. But I was so fucking tired. It was hard, recovering from emptying my power reserves to near drops of magic in order to stabilize Lilia. She’d fallen dangerously close to losing it all. My tether had saved her, kept her from needing the help of Henry and the other healers. If there was anything that could even be done at that point. When it came to magic, a healer made no difference. Only brought comfort from the pain of running your tank too low.

The deep rumble of an engine cut through the stiff, hot air inside the car. It was low. Angry. Dust kicked up the windows as we tore down the road. The Compound sat shadowed in the distant night. Wild, blue eyes of the teenage boy in the passenger seat sent the thrill of excitement through my stomach. He leaned forward like he could will the car to go faster.

“Do they know the plan?” I asked, my voice high in pitch. A woman.

The answer came quickly. “Yeah. They know.”

A fist pounded on the door. Once. Twice. Three times—followed by a chorus of whoops. They were obnoxiously loud. Giddy. Like this shit was some sort of game.

Pain seared through my cheekbone. My face rested against the cold, stone floor in Alexiares’s study. The chill of it bit into my skin. Oxygen slipped from my reach, my chest heaving with sharp, frantic pulls. Disjointed flashes of the future flickered inside my mind. My eyelids fluttered erratically. Too heavy. Threatening to never open again.

Time of day did not exist down here. Hunger pains and dehydration sent my nerves and muscles into a frenzy. Theyclenched, then released. Ate away the fat on my body. Parasitic to my flesh.

Alexiares tilted his head, blood smeared around his mouth from the dripping gore of his hands. He glanced toward Riley who looked on. Watching. His arms crossed tightly over his chest. The kind, brown eyes he stared through each day were hardened. A lump slid down his throat, Adam’s apple bobbing. The veins of his forehead were strained.

Guilt washed over me.How could I feel such a thing?Sobs came from either side of me. Something horrible had happened.

“We didn’t know! We didn’t know. They were going to leave us,” an older man begged. “He said as long as we kept our mouths shut, they’d take us to Monterey. We wouldn’t have survived out there on our own. Without food or water. Weapons.”

“Once you knew you were safe, you should have spoken up,” Alexiares said, bored.

Riley shook his head, doing his best to keep it together. “There is no room at Monterey Compound for traitors or Covert sympathizers. I’m sorry, Rolfe, there’s nothing I can do. There’s nothing I want to do.”

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