Page 92 of Ashes of Honor

“Who?” I asked. My first word in minutes.

“My mother. Prescott. They gave up in the end.”

I could have pushed back, told her she was wrong. But that wasn’t my place, and it wasn’t what Elie needed.

“My mom gave up in the end too,” I admitted. “Except she chose to die long before she physically left this earth.”

Elie turned her head toward me, confusion in her tear-filled eyes.

“Pills,” I said flatly. “Made it easier to swallow what our father was doing to us. All of us.”

“I think it was the bottle for her in The Before. That’s what I remember—I’m pretty sure. But once we got here, she was better. Ithoughtshe was better.”

“Amaia—”Shit.

“Please don’t tell her. I know she says she’s better,” Elie interrupted. “But … but maybe if she never broke in the first place, things would be different.”

“Only people that would know that as fact is aSeer.”

“Sure, I’ll go ask Abel. Be right back,” she shot back and rolled her eyes.

I stood, tossing my head toward the door. “Why not? He’s only a few streets down. Come on, I’ll go with you.” I offered her a hand.

She took it reluctantly. “I don’t understand.”

“If that’s what you think. Then go and find out. No one is stopping you.”

Elie snatched her hand back and planted her feet. She crossed her arms, brow arching with annoyance.

“Thought so,” I said, striding over and giving her a small shake of the shoulders. “Be angry. That’s fine. That’s normal. I reckon Reina would say it’s healthy in moderation. But stop pretending everyone around you is to blame for the actions of others. We aren’t in their heads. I didn’t know Prescott well, but considering he was basically Amaia’s dad, I’m assuming self-sacrificial shit runs in the family.

“They’resoldiers first, Elie. Riley too. They have a job to do. A job they love because it means they get to protect the people they care about. That includes you. Love the people around you while you can. They could be dead tomorrow.”

“Some pep talk,” she grumbled with a huffed laugh. “She really sent you in here? You kinda suck at this. I think I actually feel worse.”

“I came in here by choice because this isn’t a pep talk—it’s a reality check. One you needed. Bad.” I turned and walked toward the door then paused. “In my experience, shit will always feel worse until, one day, it doesn’t suck as bad anymore.”

I opened the door. Amaia stood there, her doe eyes snapped to mine immediately. She was drained, the kind of tired that went deeper than purely physical exhaustion.

“Alexiares … Amaia,” Elie said, her voice faint but strong enough to stop us in our tracks. “Please don’t die. Not in a few weeks meeting with the others. Not during this stupid war. Not anytime soon.”

I swiveled in place to face her. Breath escaped me as I was engulfed in a hug. The force knocked me off balance, her head pressed against my chest. I didn’t know what to do with my hands.

Amaia stepped in and I wrapped an arm around her, bringing her into the embrace. Her shoulders loosened, a bit of warmth emanating in her complexion once more. She tugged Elie closer. “We’ll do our best.”

Amaia

“Did you really pack a book?” Alexiares held up my camo bag, the middle zipper undone.

We were all packed and ready to go. The simulations would take about a month. Milking every spare second it would take for the bulk of Ronan’s troops to organize and attack. Three weeks, three phases of training, and one delusional mind that I could make this all work.

I snatched it from his hands. “Give me that.” I tossed a small flame his way, catching the edge of his shirt. He doused it immediately with an unimpressed flick of his water magic as he grumbled a series curse words.

“It’s my emotional support book.” I clutched it tight against my chest. He’d have to pry this from my cold, dead arms, if he thought for even a second I would leave it behind for the sake of saving space for something else.

He swiped through his hair, grown out enough to barely follow the rules of the gel he used to force it back and out of his face. “Weren’t you crying over this exact book two nights ago?”

“Is there a point there,Bloodhound?” I shot back with a glare, not appreciating the thick mockery in his tone.

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