Page 100 of Poisoned Empire

“I don’t get to choose whether or not to be a prince.”

“Well, I do get a choice, and I choose to leave.”

Selene couldn’t believe she’d actually said it. She tried to numb herself against the pain of it, tried to make herself cold to the man in front her, whose heart was breaking before her eyes. He touched his face shakily, surprised his hand was there.

“Oh.”

He stumbled back as if physically stunned. She resisted the urge to reach out and hold him. Their pain was necessary now, to spare them both greater pains in future. Better to cut off an infected limb than let it drag you to the grave.

“I… I see,” he mumbled.

Before she lost her resolve, Selene turned away and left the prince to his misery.

Belisarius wandered in a daze until he found himself in his father’s chambers. The emperor was sitting on his veranda, and seemed surprised to see him enter.

“Father, she…”

The emperor sighed.

“I know. I caught the gist of it from here.” He waved to the seat opposite him.

Belisarius fell into it, exhausted and numb.

“Do you know why I fought to be emperor?”

Belisarius couldn’t summon his words. He shrugged, his eyes far away.

“It was a simple matter of survival. Nadia and I knew the war would reach us sooner or later, and our kingdom didn’t have the defences of the swamps or the resources of the other kingdoms. I wasn’t even a king myself, just an unimportant prince, a strategos among many, but we both knew the only way to prevent the war from consuming our lands was to take the fight to them first. The rest is history.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“What do you suppose would’ve happened if we’d died trying?”

Belisarius blinked owlishly in confusion.

“Do you suppose the sun would’ve darkened? Would the land have swallowed the rest of the kingdoms whole in retribution?”

Now he scowled.

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Exactly. Someone else would’ve triumphed eventually, probably the swamp king. Our world would look different, but it would still be here, even if our little family had been wiped from existence. The universe doesn’t give a shit if we rule Lethe, or if we’re struck dead tomorrow. Life will go on.”

“I hope you don’t call Magister Emerald ‘swamp king’ to his face.”

His father waved off his concern.

“You know why she’s leaving, don’t you?”

“I think she made it clear,” Belisarius replied darkly.

“Gods below, you damn fool!” He slammed his fist on the table, startling Belisarius. “Then tell her in no uncertain terms there will be no other women, no children of your blood that aren’t also hers! Tell her you’ll adopt a whole orphanage full of foundlings to satisfy the damn praetor, and then give the man a black eye or two for even suggesting a fucking concubine! I know we raised you to put your duty to the empire first, but I see now we did you wrong. We feared if we raised you like we had the others, you might become another Mercurius, convinced the world was yours, and you could have whatever you wished without consequence. But Belli, neither your mother nor I would ever have wished you to leave your heart behind for this damn rock in the ocean. All we ever wanted for you was to be happy and safe.”

“I’m not sure if she’ll still have me.”

Sympathy softened the lines around his father’s red eyes.

“When you die, if you’re lucky, some of what you’ve done will leave an echo, but even that fades with time. Nothing matters more than what you do with your life when you’re alive to live it, and nothing will bring you more joy or sorrow than those you choose to spend that life with. If you can’t live without her, then do whatever it takes to keep her by your side. Luckily for you, you were born with the resources of an empire to draw on. Though I suspect you already know, she won’t be swayed by anything other than having you entirely. And Belli? That’s a rare gift, especially for a prince.”

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