Page 153 of Conspirators' Kingdom

His glare was impressive, but the depths of his citrine eyes held no fire.

“You should not have encouraged Bas. He ismyson. I will—”

“Ourson, Meri. Bas isourson. And if you discourage him after this experience, you will only be telling him that you think he is weak and that he doesn’t have what it takes to attain his dreams or face his fears.”

“Speaking from experience?” he hissed, a finger caressing her neck as his eyes took on a stony cruelty.

Taisiya did her best not to flinch.

“Yes. Even this.” She took his hand and placed it around her throat, forcing herself not to squirm, even though her heart thundered in her chest. “I will overcome it, as I have overcome every nightmare. I know my strength. No matter what, I will endure. As will Bas. You must let him discover his own strength and resolve.”

Mereruka snatched his hand away, guilt twisting his features.

“I’m sorry, Taisiya, please forgive me. That was a monstrous thing to do.” Setting aside his wine, he buried his head in his hands. “I feel like I’m not fit to be either a father or a husband of late. I’ve only failed in my duty to you both. When you needed it most, I was powerless to save either of you.”

“I knew the risks, Meri. We both did. You’ll learn and grow from this. It’s the best any of us can do,” Taisiya said as she stroked his thigh.

His laugh was as bitter as his expression.

“Speaking from your many, accumulated years of wisdom?”

It hadn’t taken her long to learn what her husband feared most was not death—indeed, he was uncommonly brash and reckless. No, her wily husband feared he would have to watch another he loved die, powerless to stop it. She understood it, and him. It was why she could shrug off his foul anger. He didn’t need someone to scold him, he needed her to be at his side so he could feel her heartbeat, to know she hadn’t left him. He needed someone to make him smile, to turn his thoughts away from death and to remember that those he loved were still here, waiting for him.

Taisiya shrugged and tweaked his nose.

“Some of us are faster learners. Try to keep up.”

He chuckled and pulled her close. She wrapped her arm around him, savouring the scent and feel of him. Mereruka was alive and whole, and so was she.

“My wise little wife.”

“One of us should be.”

“Oh?” She could hear the grin in his voice. “Then what does that make me?”

“Hmmm. The pretty one?” She trailed a finger down his chest. “Best keep in shape, husband. You wouldn’t want my eyes to wander.”

He shook from repressed laughter. Taisiya grinned into his chest and kissed the spot over his heart. When he could finally speak without snorting, he whispered in her ear.

“You’re lucky they’re sleeping in the bed. If we were alone, you wouldn’t get a single moment of rest.”

“Promise?” she taunted him.

He dipped his head down and kissed her, a gentle caress of his lips. When he pulled away, his eyes were sombre.

“I will help you overcome your fears, Taisiya. You won’t do this alone.”

She reached up and cradled his cheek in her palm.

“Neither will Bas. Neither will you, Meri. I will walk through fire by your side.”

His lips quirked.

“Even if I’m a cruel, unreasonable bastard?”

“Becauseyou’re a cruel, unreasonable bastard.” She smiled. “If you were anything but the man you are, I would have done away with you on the ship to Maat.”

“Was that the plan?”