Page 10 of Play Dirty

“I wish Mommy was here.”

“I know, buddy. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t like Tennessee.”

It’s better for me to never talk bad about Brenna, Philippe, or Nashville.

“I want you to stay here, with me,” I say instead.

“Mommy said you can’t take care of us because of hockey.”

Ugh.

This isn’t something one can easily discuss with a five-year-old.

“I’m trying to figure it out,” I say. “You’re going to start kindergarten and I’m going to hire a nanny.”

“Mommy said nannies are mean.”

Of course she did.

Fucking hell, Brenna. What’s wrong with you?

“I’ll find a nice one,” I promise. “You’ll see. It’ll be okay.”

“Is Mommy going to stay with Philippe? She said he’ll be our new daddy.”

Over my dead body.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen with Philippe, son, but I promise, I’m always going to be your daddy.”

He turns and looks at me. “Okay.”

“You ready to go to the party?”

“Yes.” He pauses. “Can we swim?”

“Yes. Auntie Harper said you can go in the pool.”

“Will you swim with me?”

I wasn’t planning on it, but I will because he wants me to.

“Sure, buddy.”

* * *

By the timewe get to the party, brunch is almost over, but that’s okay. Harper sweeps in to make plates for Martin and Emma, while I settle at one of the tables with Bradley on my lap. He gnaws on a carrot stick while I bounce my knee. He’s really the happiest and most even-tempered of my kids, but that makes sense since he’s too little to understand what’s been going on with his mother and me.

“How’s things going?” Canyon asks me after someone puts a plate in front of me.

“Oh, you know…” I gaze over to where Martin and Emma are laughing with Ally, Canyon’s niece, who’s twelve. “Dealing with a lot of emotional bullshit, thanks to Brenna talking shit to the kids.”

Canyon grimaces. “Jesus. Bad enough she was screwing around, but she has to poison your kids too?”

“She wants them to hate me so they’ll want to stay with her.”

“When do you see the judge?”

---