Page 87 of Play Dirty

“He was being nice, said something about people with good souls sticking together… and I got a little emotional realizing that I’ve truly started coming out the other side of what happened to me. Trusting people and making new friends. It wasn’t anything—I talked about you all through dinner.” She pauses and lifts her head again, searching my face. “Do you believe me?”

How could I not?

She’s so sincere, so sweet, and I know she’s telling the truth.

“I do,” I whisper, leaning up to kiss her. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry you saw that and then I was so busy we barely talked—I’ll be better about that. I got caught up in work, seeing a bunch of old friends. But I’ll be more cognizant of communicating. I apologize.”

“It’s all right, baby. This is all still new.”

“If I was unhappy, or met someone else, I would tell you. I would never do what she did. You know that, right?”

And somehow, as I stare into her beautiful blue eyes, I do know.

Brenna is the past.

Stevie is my future.

Chapter28

Stevie

I feltterrible about the misunderstanding with Barracuda, so I spent the next day making it up to Marty. Not that he minded, and I know he’s not mad anymore, but I hate that I did something to make him feel insecure—or to doubt me. He says he’s fine, that he’s past it, but I still don’t like that it happened. I have to be much more careful in the future. Not because I shouldn’t have male friends, or even that I shouldn’t hug them, but because I’m Stevie Marchand.

I know how the press likes to vilify me.

I understand how the game works when it comes to my public persona, and now that I have someone as wonderful as Marty in my life, I don’t want that kind of thing to impact us. I wouldn’t be thrilled if I saw him hugging some famous pop singer when he was on a road trip, so I have to afford him the same courtesy.

It won’t be easy, because I have a lot of friends and acquaintances, and if I go back to working full-time, I’m going to see them on the regular.

The thing is, part of me is starting to wonder if it’s time to take a step back. I have a few years of modeling left in me, but I’ve always wanted to transition into acting, and this might be the time to start that process. Modeling takes me all over the world, sometimes for long periods of time, and that would mean being away from Marty. And the kids.

There’s no way to know what’s going to happen going forward but if he gets custody of the kids, someone needs to be there for them.

It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if that someone was me.

I have money so I’m not desperate to make more.

I was a little wild at the beginning of my career, but once real money started coming in my agent convinced me to get a financial planner who forced me to save and invest. I have a nice stock portfolio, a retirement fund, and a hefty savings account. Most of that is for the house I want to buy, but I don’t plan to spend all of it.

I could potentially slow down a little, be more selective with jobs, and focus more on both acting and product endorsement. There was a perfume line interested in me just before the incident with Damien, and that would have been a multi-million-dollar contract, good for three years. That’s the kind of thing I’d like to find now, so I can spend more time with Marty.

With the kids if he gets custody.

Building a family.

Making our house into a home.

As independent as I’ve always been, it suddenly feels like the right time to reassess. Marty needs me to be there for him while he’s playing hockey, and even more so if he gets custody of his kids. It doesn’t feel like a sacrifice for him—it feels like the next phase of my life.

I can still work.

We’ll have Patty and a nanny to help when we need it, but I want to be there when he comes home from a road trip.

I want to be there for him, period.

Maybe it’s time to have that talk we’ve been avoiding.

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