Page 29 of Reckless Hearts

The kind of bond people spend their whole lives searching for and never find.

These memories are precious, sweet enough to last a lifetime.

Strong enough to keep me sane when I’m no longer near them.

I knew coming here would be hard.

But I’d regret not having these moments the rest of my life.

I’ve given myself this time to memorize everything about them every laugh, every look, every reckless, beautiful thing so I have something to hold on to.

Something no one else could ever replace.

Something to warm me later when they’re just a memory.

Something to dull the ache when they aren’t around.

I just need to hide my panic attacks.

Need to push them down like my therapist taught me.

They can’t know what it costs me to be here.

“Are you alright?” Maverick’s voice is edged with concern, a deep crease between his brows.

“I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.”

Colt’s already getting up, holding out his hand to me. “You should have said so. I’ve wanted to go back for hours. These guys are boring.”

“Screw you!” someone shouts, but I miss who it is, still unable to meet their faces.

Statistically, at least one of their careers will end in a grave. If they’re lucky, a wheelchair.

Colt winks at me. “Don’t hate me for telling the truth.”

I don’t even remember getting down from the truck, the walk back, or climbing up the stairs, my body fully on autopilot.

I manage to make an excuse to call it a night, then collapse against the door the second it shuts.

My breaths are ragged, my back sliding down the wood until I’m curled at the base of it, holding the glued pieces of my heart together.

I don’t care how much it hurts.

I’m not giving up the short time I have with them.

Chapter 10

Colt

My beer’sbitter on my tongue as I crush another one, adding it to the small pile at my side. I’ve hidden myself behind the building, not feeling up to playing my part—the playboy, boy next door, always ready with a smile.

Nights like these make me wonder why I ever put on this mask at all.

Not that I don’t know. Half the money in bull riding is in sponsorships, and the TV loves the guy I show them.

I don’t have it in me tonight, too many thoughts flying through my mind. How good Callie looked in my jacket, her warm thigh pressed against mine, so cute I just wanted to bite into her. My head drops into my palm, holding me up when I start to sway.

There’d been something else… As the night went on, her smiles grew brittle, and she stopped meeting my eyes. I let her play off her shudder as just being cold. It was easy to see she didn’t want to talk about it but it took everything in me not to ask.

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