Page 1 of The Single Dad Dilemma

ONE

RIDGE

There’s a special place in hell for all those parents who name their kids after objects. Or the ones who put in all the extra letters that are absolutely unnecessary. But I can’t say any of that out loud because all the mommies and daddies at the preschool program will look at me like I’m an asshole. Well, maybe I am but that’s not the point.

I pull my truck into a spot in front of ABCs & Friends, where my kid is enrolled for her very last summer before she starts kindergarten in three months. Lords willing. Yes, I’m praying to all the gods in all the religions that this works out.

But as I push through the front door, a stern-looking Mrs. Edith Sanderson greets me. Her hands are wrenched tightly across her chest, left foot tapping. There’s also a very guilty-looking Louise Mae Jessup standing next to her.

“Mr. Jessup, perhaps we should speak alone,” Edith says before I can say anything.

I look down at my kiddo, and she knows what’s coming just as well as I do. “Lou, why don’t you go sit over there while I talk to Mrs. E?”

She nods, saying nothing as she adjusts the straps of her backpack and heads over to the small couch in the waiting area.

No sooner than Lou is gone from her side, Mrs. E starts in.

“Mr. Jessup, while Louise is a very smart young lady, she’s also quite spirited.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” I counter. It’s the best I’ve got. Plus, being spiritedisa good thing, right? It always sounded like a good quality to me.

“Mr. Jessup, during a lesson about the seasons, she made a speech about climate change and how the lines between seasons will quickly fade if we aren’t careful. And then she bit Axel on the hand.”

“Why did she bite him?” Biting is a new one. Lou always has a speech about the melting ice caps or saving the majestic wild American bumblebee, but she’s never physically hurt another child.

“Apparently he tried to steal Brayleigh’s snack,” she says. “But that’s not a good reason to bite him. She should use her words.”

Axel and Brayleigh. Wasn’t this the exact thing I was thinking on the way here? You know what, I’m not going there. Those parents put in work, took their time, and lovingly named their children with intention. At least that’s what I’m choosing to believe.

But the biting thing doesn’t seem so out of character with context. Lou and Brayleigh are friends, and she was defending her. I’m not sure I can be mad about that.

“I’ll talk to her,” I say.

“Mr. Jessup, the rules are very clear,” Edith starts.

“Yes, I know. I do know that, but there’s only three months until kindergarten and I’m desperate here, Edith. Please, have mercy. Perhaps she could make it up to everyone?”

“Are you suggesting bribery, Mr. Jessup, because that’s just?—”

“No, of course not.” But yeah, that’s kind of what I was thinking.

Mrs. E takes a deep breath. It’s a very long, very intentional inhale and a too loud exhale, and I know what it means before she even says anything.

“Mr. Jessup, I’m very sorry. But Louise can no longer attend programs here at ABCs & Friends. I wish you both all the best.”

She holds her hand out to shake mine, and I reluctantly follow suit. It’s not like I’m not used to it.

“I’m sorry,” Lou says. They’re the first words out of her mouth after we pull out of the parking lot. There’s a deepVbetween her wispy brows, which matches her downturned mouth.

“I know you were defending your friend and I know you feel passionately about the earth,” I say. “But there are probably better ways to do those things.”

“Dad, Axel didn’t just steal her snack,” she says. “He pulled her ponytail and told her that her parents didn’t love her.”

Well, Axel’s a dick. But I have to stay on track. “Lou, this is the tenth daycare. There are no more daycares.”

She gives this some silent thought as she fidgets with the fluffy pink bunny keychain hanging from her backpack zipper.

“Ihadto liberate the class pet at the last one,” she says. “Birds don’t belong in cages.”

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