Page 67 of Second Story

Lenny does it for himself, nowhere close to done with telling her news I know must make her happy. It must also be painful to hear this from him. “Ruth made a new cape for my Silver Man, and I drew her a picture of the lambs Noah showed me on his farm.”

She chokes this out. “You’ve been to a farm, baby?”

“Not a baby.” Lenny chuffs like he always used to, and like I’d almost forgotten. “Joe came to the farm with us the first time and I sat on his shoulders until I liked dogs and now he’s come back and Isaac is happy again.”

When she finally gets a few words in, Mum chokes again, only with laughter. “Joe makes Isaac happy?”

Lenny chuffs again as if the whole world already knows this. “Every time he comes back, Isaac gets all smiley.”

Phrases like “come back” usually lead to Lenny upsetting himself by asking, “When are you coming home?” Today, he doesn’t, and I can’t lie, my eyes sting all over again at him skipping that question. He’s way too busy telling Mum that home is with a woman she hasn’t met. Who she might never if she won’t share the name of who brought the drug squad to our front door to splinter both it and our family.

“Ruth needs me to sit next to her on movie night in case she gets scared in the dark, and she reads my bedtime story. She’s good, but Joe reads it even better. The same story he gave me!”

Lenny can’t notice that Mum shows what I’ve seen in my own mirror. Or at least what it used to reflect before we got to Glynn Harber.

She’s defeated.

She doesn’t need to move a muscle to show it. I can tell that she’s beaten by what has to sound like proof that she isn’t needed. That life is going on without her.

I don’t know how the fuck she can find the smile she summons to show Len or how the hell she can ask a teasing question. “What is it about Joes and your brother? This is the second one Isaac has got all smiley about.” She softens. “I could see it when you first used to visit. You wouldn’t stop talking about Lenny’s helper, remember?”

“It’s the same Joe!”

I stop Len from spilling more about what I had no idea Mum had noticed. “Yeah, Joe was Lenny’s school welfare officer. He has a different job now. We met again by accident.”

Lenny only states the truth. “Joe’s here for my friend Noah.” Heat still climbs my neck because I’m pretty sure that Joe is here for me. I change the subject in a hurry.

“We’re nearly out of time. Mum, are my emails getting to you now?”

She nods.

“And the photos I’ve been attaching?”

“No.” She slumps in her seat, and just like that, I can’t pretend she’s free to make her own decisions. Someone else has decided for her. I also can’t pretend I don’t see another flicker of defeat that gets me speaking up in a hurry.

“I’ll send some more.”

“He takes lots of Joe,” Lenny offers.

“Well, you better make sure to send me a few of him.” She closes her eyes for a long moment. They’re so much brighter when they reopen. “Then stop taking photos for me, Isaac. Focus on enjoying yourself, yeah?” Her gaze landing on Len looks as soft as velvet. “Listen, baby. About that boat trip. You want to go spot some seals?”

Len nods.

She flashes a look my way. “Even if your brother needed to come see me?”

“You got a date for a visit?”

She nods at me. “Yes. This Saturday. I think the chaplain fixed it.” She speaks to Len. “Maybe Ruth could go seal spotting with you, baby. Or?—”

“Mr. Lawson and his daddy?” Len nods again. “Both of them are coming.”

“Then you go do that. Go and see lots of seals, just as long as you draw me a picture afterwards, yeah?” She swallows. I hearthat dry click all the way from London. “Because I need to have a boring grown-up talk with your brother, and London is a long way to come to just be bored, right? You can come next time, and I can video call every week now, so you stay right there.”

She sells Cornwall to someone who doesn’t take much convincing.

“It sounds like a good place for fresh starts.” She clenches her jaw as if holding something back while outside in the courtyard, Joe turns a scrapbook page and unfolds a leaflet about breaking harmful patterns. “That’s all I want for both of you. A fresh start.”

“And for you.” I so want to keep this promise. “You’ll get a fresh start of your own here soon.”

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