Page 3 of Brutal Sin

“Is there something in particular you’re looking for? Is it aesthetic appeal? Are the men not your type? Or do you have a specifickink?”

“I know exactly what I want.” A carbon-copy of her husband, at least where the sex was concerned. “I want a man who will take me over and control my pleasure. Someone who knows what I want before I want it and doesn’t mistake his cockiness for finesse.” She sighed and let her tired shoulders sag as she slumped onto the bench beside Shay. “Sorry for the hysterics. I guess frustration finally has the better ofme.”

“Is that all it is? Frustration?”

Yes…

Maybe…

No.

She stared down at her glossy shoes, the past reliving itself in her mind. “I wasn’t married to Lucas for long. We didn’t even reach our one-year anniversary. And in that time, he completely changed my sex life. He made me aware of a sexuality I never knew I had. But I didn’t realize it was exclusive to our relationship. I thought the physical connection would be replaceable. Maybe not to the exact degree of what we had. I only hoped for something similar. Instead, I’m losing faith in ever finding the part of myself that made me feel most alive.”

It sounded pathetic. How could sex be such a significant piece of her? It was only physical exertion, right?

Wrong.

The act was so much more. She needed to be seen without having to wave her arms in the crowd. She wanted to be heard without words. She longed for someone to know her. Yet, she wasn’t sure she knew herself anymore.

“Would you trust me to hook you up with a guy who might be able to help?” Shay leaned in and rested her head on Pamela’s shoulder.

“I think I’m too far gone. I used to be able to orgasm with the flick of my husband’s fingers. Now men need to have mastered the Kama Sutra and bear the scratches of a thousand pleasured virgins before I give them the time of day.” She released a half-hearted chuckle. “I’m high maintenance.”

“The person I have in mind would see that as a challenge.”

“I’ve been with most of the available men at the Vault.”

“You haven’t been with him. I’d know.” Shay stood and rubbed her hands together. “I have a really good feeling about this. All I need is five minutes to make it happen.”

“It’s too late. I’m…” An old widow? A born-again virgin? A brokensoul?

“In a slump. That’s all.” Shay started for the door, her face bright with optimism. “And I’m convinced Brute will be the perfect match foryou.”

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