Page 126 of Saving Her

“Who?” The question slips out with a shallow wave of relief. “When?”

He shrugs and pushes to his feet. “I don’t know. But I can find out.”

“No. It doesn’t matter. I’m thankful regardless.”

He gives a sad smile. “I thought you might be. Do you want me to call Benji so you can speak to them?”

I’ve yearned to speak to my sisters since we were separated in Greece. The only difference between Tobias and those women is that with them, I’ve had the strength to keep my distance, knowing I’d be a negative addition to their recovery. They are together. All three of them left the Greek Islands to return home. They had each other’s support. They didn’t need me hindering their bright future. “No.”

“You don’t have to use my phone. I can finally set up the new cell I gave you.”

“No. It’s better if I don’t.”

He closes his mouth, his lips pressing tighter the longer I remain firm until he says, “I disagree. I’ll go get the phone.”

“I saidno.” I slide from the bed. “Torian is right. I’m a negative influence. It’s best if we don’t speak.”

“But they need you.”

“They need theoldme,” I grate. “They need the maternal figure who kept them alive. The person who continuously battled for our survival. That’s not me anymore.”

“Yes, it is. You’re—”

“No, Luca. Listen. I’m not that person. I can’t help anyone. I can barely help myself.”

His eyes harden, the flare of his nostrils feral. “You’re not giving up because of him. I won’t allow it. This phase is only a brief backward step. A slight hibernation period. It won’t last.”

“I’m not a goddamn bear.”

“You sure?” He scowls. “Because you’re acting like one.”

It’s my turn to grind my teeth and scowl. Fire ignites in my belly. Heat builds in my veins. The instinct to fight awakens in me after being dormant for so long, but I shut it down. I won’t let Luther back into my life. He changed me, making me lash out at the first sign of fear. But I don’t want to fight anymore. I don’t want to be reminded of him every time I’m scared. Or angry. “I said, ‘no.’”

“Fine.” He turns and starts for the door. “Call them. Don’t call them. I don’t give a shit. But you’re going to get your ass back into the exercise room. I’ve decided you’re not finished for the day.”

7

Luca

I wassurprised when she joined me in the exercise room. The continuous glare and tense muscles were predictable, though. I made her jog another two miles. Then demanded she sit her ass down on the sofa and continue our daily movie routine.

This time she didn’t sleep. She kept giving me the silent treatment, her glare cemented in place.

I let it fly because I appreciated seeing her committed to something for once, even if that commitment was her annoyance with me.

I even anticipated the animosity seeping into the following day, but she woke this morning without bitchiness. In fact, she’s acting as if nothing happened yesterday. She talked to me over breakfast, went for a run on the treadmill afterward, and has just joined me for a movie at our usual mid-afternoon screening time.

I know she’s faking the sudden recovery. Ignoring and bottling all the hurt. But even being able to pretend she’s not dying inside takes a level of strength beyond my comprehension. I bet she doesn’t realize how incredible she is. How fucking remarkable.

If only she’d finally break down and face her past—completely—then maybe she might start to recover instead of merely providing herself with distractions.

“What movie are we watching today?” she asks from the outstretched recliner.

“We could try the second half of the superhero movie you checked out on two days ago.”

I didn’t continue watching without her. I changed the channel as soon as she fell asleep. Not that the viewing is anything more than a lullaby. She usually passes out like clockwork within thirty minutes.

Those moments have been the highlight of my existence. Her content face. Her relaxed, slightly parted lips. Her beauty.

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