Page 141 of Saving Her

I scoff and slump back against the far counter. “Yeah, okay. No fucking problem. I’ll just tell her to get over herself, will I?”

“Yes.” She takes another superior sip of coffee. “Normal people have the luxury of grieving for months. Even years. But we’re not normal. With our lifestyle, it’s not safe to let down our guard for too long. She needs to be aware of that.”

“Problem is, she didn’t choose this lifestyle, Sarah. It was forced on her.”

“It was forced on all of us,” she drawls. “Nobody chooses to be here. That’s just the way the cards fall. The sooner she gets used to it the better.”

I don’t want Penny to get used to it. I want her to be saved from it. Sheltered.

“You need to take charge.” Sarah lowers her voice. “Push her.”

“Pushing her is what led to this mess. Look what the fuck happened.”

“You broke her down, soldier. It’s time to build her back up.”

I wipe a rough hand over my face, not wanting any of this. Not the breaking or the building. I’m not the man for that job. But she’s right. I made Penny this way; I can’t leave her now.

“I’ve tried talking to her,” I mutter. “I’ve asked—”

“Don’t talk. Don’t ask.” She screws up her face in disgust. “Demand. Assert your authority. Act like a SEAL, not a fucking pussy.”

My anger bites, the teeth nipping at my insides. “It’s not that easy.”

“Why?” She takes another sip of coffee. “Because you like her?”

“Of course I like her. I wouldn’t be going through this hell if I didn’t.”

“No. I mean youreallylike her. Lover boy Luca wants to make babies with Decker’s sister.”

I push from the counter, my teeth set in a snarl. “Don’t joke about shit like that. Not after what she’s been through.”

“Calm your tits.” She looks me up and down, seeming to find me lacking, which only increases my rage. “She’s still a woman. And a beautiful one at that. Who knows? Fucking your sad ass might be the best thing for her.”

“This was a mistake.” I stalk forward and grab her mug. “It’s time to leave.”

She clings tight to the handle. “Don’t steal my coffee, Luca. No man could survive that battle.”

I itch to pull out the gun that lives in the back of my waistband. To threaten. To frighten. But I know the tactic won’t work on Sarah.

Not today when she’s an emotionless black hole.

“Fine. I’ll stop, Okay?” She raises a hand in surrender. “Release the mug and nobody gets hurt.”

“Bullshit. You don’t know how to stop.”

“You’re right.” She smirks. “How ’bout I promise to rein it in a little?”

“I’ll still want to kill you.”

The consuming frustration won’t change until I fix this. I feel like a fucking caveman—all action and aggression. No mental comprehension.

I need fresh air. I need a release.

I need fucking guns and adrenaline and sex.

“Look, I meant what I said before.” She tugs the mug from my grip and downs the contents. “You need to build her back up. Make her strong. Teach her how to defend herself. Scare her into action if you have to.”

“Scare her? After everything she’s already been through?” I grab my phone from the counter and scroll to the surveillance icon, making sure Penny is still seeking sanctuary in the deck chair. “You’re a heartless bitch. You know that, right?”

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