Page 160 of Saving Her

I should.

I just can’t bring myself to do it. Not yet. I need to wait until the hum of liquor dulls the doubt.

“Tell me where you work.” I throw back another gulp and force myself to meet her gaze. “What do you do for a living, Rebecca?”

“Rachel,” she corrects.

Shit.

I’m screwing this up. She’ll cut and run soon, and I’ll be left to head home and jerk off in the shower every five fucking minutes just to dull the edge while my obsession sleeps in a nearby room.

“Sorry.” I raise my beer and glance over my shoulder, wordlessly letting the waitress know I need another drink. “Tell me, Rachel. What do you do for work?”

She’s a stunner. Light blue eyes. Short, pixie hair. Blinding smile.

She’s bright and chipper. The opposite of my current obsession, which is why I swiped right. There can’t be anything to remind me of where I want to be.

“There’s nothing super exciting to tell.” She sits taller, her knee continuing to rub mine. “I’m a medical receptionist at a clinic a few blocks from here. It isn’t a career as such, but it pays the bills. What about you?”

I think about the possible answers I could give. All the crime and destruction. The blood and death. It’s a temporary distraction for two point five seconds before my mind scampers back to Penny.

I never should’ve left her. Not when we hadn’t discussed the situation first. She could be scared without me. Fucking petrified. But I’d been desperate. Thoughts of that kiss lash brutal blows at my restraint. I’ve been beside myself. Itching to get out of my own skin, all because of my need to have her.

“You look like a security guard.” The woman fills the silence. “I can see the outline of your muscles through your shirt.”

Christ.

I can’t even deal with the flirtation. How the hell will I react to her naked?

This was meant to be a hookup. A quick fuck. But I’m the one who couldn’t bring myself to meet at a hotel, instead suggesting a dinner date. As if being with someone behind Penny’s back was more excusable if I bought the woman a meal first.

Still feels like cheating.

How can it not when she’s been everything to me for weeks?

I want her. I’m obsessed with her.

But that ship is never going to sail.

Never. Going to. Sail.

I need to remember that. Fucking tattoo it on my wrist.

I snatch at the beer the waitress places before me and knock it back in one long pull before slamming it down. “Let’s get out of here?”

The blonde’s face lights up. “Perfect.”

I stand, grab my wallet from my jacket pocket, and throw a few bills to the table. Once I get my rocks off I’ll be fine. A new fucking man.

The isolation has been killing me. Messing with my head. I’d be bat shit over any woman I’d been trapped with for that long. Anyone would.

And lord knows it doesn’t help that Penny is so easy to be around. Or that she’s admirably strong. Or so fucking gorgeous.

Being stuck in that house was a ticking time bomb, the impending explosion even more catastrophic after Decker returned home.

Nothing good could come from succumbing to my libido.

Penny doesn’t need the confusion. And I don’t need to be riddled with bullets by her brother.

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