Page 172 of Saving Her

“So forgive me,” he snarls, “if I thought it was best to try and take the edge off with a stranger because it’s crystal clear I can’t have you.”

I can’t reply. I can’t even shake my head. All I can do is swallow over the heat licking my throat.

He holds my gaze for long moments, those eyes narrowed with spite.

I want to pour my heart out to him. To tell him how I feel. But I don’t understand it myself.

I don’t want sex. The thought of it scares me. But I want him.

I crave his protection. His praise. I want to have him close to me.

He shoves from the wall and turns to stalk away, each step creating a painful chasm between us.

“Please, Luca.” I shudder out a breath. “Don’t walk away from me again.”

He stops, his shoulders slumping. “It’s not like I want to. Believe me, it’s my only choice.”

“Why? Because I’m damaged?”

He tilts his head to look at me. “No, shorty. Because I’m falling in love with you. Because despite how fucking stupid that is—how inappropriate and unreasonable—I love every fucking thing about you. And that shit isn’t healthy for either of us.”

I pull back, my head hitting the wall, my gasp audible. He doesn’t love me. He couldn’t. And I’m not sure I want him to anyway.

Love means loss.

It gives power to my invisible enemies, and makes me weak.

But the invigoration… it’s euphoric. Tear-inspiring happiness tightens my throat, threatening to suffocate me.

“Finally, you understand.” He turns his attention back to the hall and starts walking. “Now you’ll know why I’m keeping my distance.”

“No. Stop” I push away from the wall, my demand adamant. “What if I feel the same way?”

He doesn’t speak. Doesn’t move.

“What if, Luca?”

I don’t know how I feel. I don’t know much of anything anymore. But what I do know is that he’s my rock. He’s the shore to my crashing waves. The steadying ground beneath my tumultuous storm.

“Will you answer me?” Slowly, I approach, each step increasing my exhilaration and vulnerability. “What if I feel the same way about you?” I walk around him to meet those shadowed eyes. My heart hammers in my throat as he remains silent, his mouth set in a straight line. “Please answer me.”

“Don’t do this, shorty.” The plea is barely audible. “The last thing you need to deal with right now is cleaning up the mess once your brother kills me.”

A loud knock sounds at the door, the banging thunderous.

“On cue,” he drawls. “See? Deck already has a sixth sense for these things.”

I reach for Luc, my fingers brushing his in a brief swipe before I lose confidence and drop my arm back to my side. “Sebastian will stay out of this.”

“No, he won’t. And he shouldn’t.” He waves a hand between us. “This is never going to happen. It can’t.”

I whisper out a scoff. “How poetic—the man who rescued me from someone who gave me a lifetime of something I didn’t want is denying me the only thing I crave.”

“You don’t crave me, Pen—”

“Don’t tell me what I crave.” I step closer and he stiffens. “You have no idea how I feel for you. How I’ve always felt for you. I never knew it myself until you walked out on me.”

“I didn’t walk out.”

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