Page 179 of Saving Her

“No. It’s you who were sent from the heavens to get me through my trauma, and this is something I need help with.”

To hell with her logic.

I’m the last person who should be considered heaven sent.

If only she knew the things I’ve done. The people I’ve killed. And the ones I wanted to slaughter before they got away.

I stop a few inches from her, resting on my side to watch her darkened silhouette, the warmth from her body seeping into the sheets and surrounding me. But we don’t touch. I make sure of that. I keep an invisible barrier between us, a firm boundary that she proceeds to shatter to pieces when she shuffles closer, nestling into my chest.

“Relax,” she whispers. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

If only she knew the pounding ache her proximity provides. I hurt everywhere. My legs. My arms. And no place throbs more than my dick. “Get some sleep.”

She releases a weary sigh, resting her face into my chest. “I’m trying.”

I feel for her. I always do.

I wish I could clean away her troubles and make her life effortless. Yet it seems staying here has only caused more problems.

I could’ve lost her tonight, and that fucking scares me. She could’ve been taken in by the cops. Or murdered. My selfishness almost cost this beautiful woman her life, and I’ll never forgive myself.

The guilt is brutal, the pound building in my veins. My thoughts try to convince me she’s already gone despite her body being close to mine.

Slowly, I wrap my arm around her waist, just to hold her. To make sure she’s still whole. Still real.

I don’t know how I’ll let go of her in the morning. I’ll have to pry my fingers from her soft skin.

“Luc?” Her voice is barely audible.

“Yeah, Pen. What’s wrong?”

“I need you to touch me.”

I close my eyes and press my lips to her temple. “I am touching you.”

She sucks in a breath, her exhale ragged. “No. I need you to touch me the way you were going to touch that other woman.”

16

Penny

He doesn’t move.Doesn’t speak.

He remains rigid beside me, not breathing.

I pull back to stare into the darkened shadows of his face. “Luca, I need to know that part of me isn’t broken. That I’m still a woman.”

“Trust me, you’re the most exquisite fucking woman there is.”

He doesn’t understand. I don’t expect him to. But this is something I want to know. Ihaveto know. I need to determine if the tingles he awakens in me are merely surface deep.

“Please.” I place my hand on his chest. “Help me with this.”

“I don’t think I can be that man, Pen. I’m not a good guy.”

The rejection stings.Reallystings.

“Okay.” I turn onto my back. I’m not going to force him into intimacy he doesn’t want. Manipulating my way into his bed is bad enough.

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