Page 186 of Saving Her

This Penny isn’t like the warrior I rescued from a predator. Her edges are softer. She’s more woman. Less wild, caged animal.

“I’ve barely even started.” She chuckles again. “How long have you lived here? When was your last relationship? How did you end up working for Torian?”

“My brother.” I tread carefully, wanting to get this over with before she nosedives any further into unwanted territory. “I was on a mission overseas when I found out Benji had gotten tied up with the most notorious crime family in Oregon. I dropped everything in the hopes I could pull him out before it was too late.”

“But ended up working for them instead? Did they force you? Threaten you?”

“No.” Despite her probably wanting a different answer, I tell her, “I’m here by choice.”

“You gave up being a SEAL to work for Cole Torian?”

“Not exactly. I gave up for the love of my brother. It was a case of leaving my post too often to maintain my role. And the last time was in the middle of an op. But Benji needed me, and he’s all I’ve got. I’d do anything for him. So I acted against instructions not to abandon my post. Even ignored my superior’s threats to have me court marshalled.”

There’s a beat of silence where her hand freezes on my chest. “Weren’t you worried?”

“I was more worried for my brother.”

There’s another pause, then, “Did they go through with their threat to court martial?”

“You bet your ass they did. I was dishonorably discharged.”

The only stability I’d ever had in my life was gone. I’d been left with nothing. Nothing but Benji in a fucked-up situation.

“That’s a heavy price to pay for being the older sibling.”

“I’m not older. My big brother has a few years on me. Doesn’t change anything though. It’s how it’s always been. He gets in trouble, and I try my best to drag him out of it.” I place my hands under my head, feigning calm. “Isn’t that what family are for?”

“I don’t know. It’s been a long time since I’ve had one. I barely remember what it’s like anymore.” She sucks in a deep breath and sighs. “How about your scars? Are they from your time as a SEAL or from working with Cole?”

I force myself not to flinch as she makes a direct hit on a shitty subject. “That’s a long story best saved for another day.”

“You don’t want to share it with me?”

I don’t want to share it with anyone.

Not now. Not ever.

“Does it have something to do with the trauma you mentioned before?” She looms over me. “I’m not pressuring you to spill secrets… I just thought if we had something in common…”

“It’s not a conversation I want to have, Pen.”

There’s a slight tweak to her muscles. A flinch that consumes me with guilt.

“I’m sorry.” She rests back onto the bed, stealing away her touch. “I won’t ask again.”

No, I bet she won’t. She’s too considerate for that.

I’ll just be left to feel like shit for denying her.

“I’m getting tired.” She rolls away from me to wrestle with her pillow. “Good night, Luc. Thanks for everything.”

Fuck me.

Fuck me for pretending all my ducks are in a row when clearly they’re not.

Fuck me for forcing her to face her past when I barely attempt to face my own. It’s not fair. If only I knew how to function any other way.

“Night, Pen.” I reach for her, gently running my fingers through her hair in silent apology. “Wake me if you need me.”

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