Page 228 of Saving Her

I hold her tighter. “Try.”

She’s quiet for a while as she peppers slow kisses against my neck. “My stomach is giddy. It’s all fluttery and warm.” Her arms snake down to her sides, then wrap around my waist. “Good sensations have been foreign to me for so long that there’s a sense of guilt that comes with them. Or maybe it’s not guilt. Maybe it’s the fear of this all being taken away.”

“It won’t get taken.”

She sucks in a long breath and releases it slowly. “You can’t know for certain. Nobody can predict what will happen tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that. So there’s this giddy, tingling part of me that I love, then there’s this nagging, opposing side that chooses to be a constant reminder of how quickly life can change for the worse.”

I get it.

I know she doesn’t think I do, but I lived my entire early childhood in that zone. Every time I caught my parents laughing or smiling, the childish optimism in me would think they’d finally figured out how to be happy without causing pain.

It never stuck though.

And I can’t oppose her way of thinking when I still have bad news to tell her. I’m worried I’ll lose her trust and break her heart with the information of another attack. Then if she finds out I involved Tobias…fuck.

Maybe she’s right. Maybe this will all be taken away, but she’ll be the one doing the taking.

I tighten my hold on her, my migraine returning with the fear. “I’ll always protect you. I promise I’ll never stop.”

“I know.” She pulls back to look up at me with heart melting eyes. “But who will protect you?”

25

Penny

I waketo the sound of the neighbor’s dog barking incessantly, the slight glow seeping around the curtains announcing early morning.

The house is quiet. No voices. No kiddie giggles.

There are only me and the memories of last night to make me smile. I roll onto my side and stare at the man sleeping peacefully next to me. I’d fallen into slumber with his arms wrapped around my middle, his chest warm against my back.

I can’t remember succumbing to pleasant dreams so easily.

There’d been no fear. No panic.

Only a building sense of hope with the protective embrace.

My love for him is scary. I think it’s always been there, in the security and trust, but now it’s also in the flutter of my stomach and the tightness of my throat whenever I look at him.

It carries through every inch of my body.

A rhythmicpop, pop, popstartles me, the familiar muted gunfire stealing a bite of my happiness. I slump back into the mattress. Sebastian must have headed straight for the shooting range as soon as he woke up.

I hate that he despises the man I adore. It makes me sick thinking of his anger.

I want to fix it.

Fixthem.

If I’m going to reclaim my life, I need them both. No aggression. No threats. Just support and guidance.

I may have very little control over anything else right now, but I can make Sebastian listen to me. All I need is to be strong enough to face him, and I think Luca has already ensured I am.

I slowly inch from the bed and tiptoe to the dresser to pull on the pants and oversized sweater I left there the night before.

“Where are you going?” Luca grumbles, his face plastered into the pillow.

“I can’t sleep with that dog barking. I’m going to get coffee.”

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