Page 231 of Saving Her

“I thought it was time we talked.”

He straightens, broadening his shoulders. “What do you want to talk about?”

I swallow over the adamant pulse in my throat and drag in a steadying breath. “I wanted to apologize for the way I’ve treated you, am treating you, and will probably continue to treat you.”

“Okay…” He winces. “So this hatred of me is a lifelong commitment?”

“No, it’s not. And I don’t hate you, I just…” My chest tightens, painfully squeezing. “I’m trying to protect myself the only way I know how.”

“And you think you need protection from me?”

“Notfrom you, no. I need protection from the possibility of losing you. Everything else has been taken from me, Sebastian. Too many sisters in Greece were murdered. And anyone who defies Luther always disappears… Maybe if you weren’t a part of this—” I wave a hand to encompass the room. The house. Everything. “—my return would be different. But it feels like loss has followed me here.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” He starts toward me. “No way in hell would I leave you.”

“I know it wouldn’t be by choice. But your job… And Robert.” I wrap my arms around my waist, trying to hold in the building hollowness. “You didn’t choose a vocation that’s overly generous when it comes to lifespan.”

“Robert can go fuck himself.” He stops before me, his face pinched. “He’s one man attempting to start a war with an army. He doesn’t have a hope in hell of surviving. And yes, I admit working for Torian has its downfalls, but I’m more of a tech guy. I hide behind a computer most of the time. I’m not on the frontlines like Hunt orLuca,” he snarls the name, adding to my emptiness.

“He’s a good man.” I let my eyes do the pleading. “I wouldn’t be here right now, standing before you, if it weren’t for him. And it’s not just because he physically saved me in Greece. It’s so much more than that. He rescued me mentally, too. Emotionally. He’s the reason I’m whole, Seb. It’s all him.”

He presses his lips tight, his nostrils flaring.

“Why is it so hard for you to understand?” I ask.

“It’s not hard to understand,” he grates. “It’s hard to digest. He shouldn’t be touching you.”

“Well, rest assured he feels the same way. But I like him touching me. After everything I’ve been through, he brings me comfort. Can’t you see how monumental that is?”

“No, it only reeks of manipulation to me.”

“You don’t think I know all about manipulation? I spent a lifetime in hell getting to know every single facet of deceit. And it’s not what Luca is doing.”

Sebastian’s jaw ticks. He doesn’t believe me. There’s no faith.

I squeeze my arms tighter around myself, creating courage. “I love him. More than myself. More than air. More than life. He’s become the reason I get up in the morning. He’s my hope for the future. And the balm to my past. I know you don’t want to hear it, but right now, he’s everything to me. He’s the reason I breathe.”

“And what happens when he’s not? Where does it leave you mentally and fucking emotionally when he walks out?”

A sharp dagger stabs through my heart, piercing skin and bone. “Hopefully by then I’ll be strong enough to stand on my own two feet.” I drop my hands to my sides. “He’s not obligated to a lifelong commitment, and he never should be. But while he’s inspiring happiness, I want to cling to him. Surely I deserve that much, don’t I?”

He cringes. “This isn’t about what you deserve. It’s about—”

“I know exactly what you think it’s about. What I need you to comprehend is that I would’ve ended my life many times over if it wasn’t for him. He’s the only reason I stand before you. Theonly reason,Sebastian. I know that’s hard for you to hear. It’s even harder for me to admit. But it’s the truth. And I think he deserves your gratitude for that. At the very least, you should stop threatening him.”

His mouth snaps shut again, his jaw ticking.

“Please, Seb.”

He looks away.

“Please.”

“I’ll work on it,” he growls and turns for the stairs.

Before I know what I’m doing, I reach for him, my fingers tentative against his wrist.

He stops. Stiffens.

---