Page 73 of Seeking Vengeance

So fucking right.

I guess I grew up being self-assured by my family’s power. Of how to conquer and rule. But when it came to sexuality, my teachings came from a man who would’ve preferred never to have met me.

“You’re daunted by me?” he teases.

I shove at his chest. “You know I am.”

He sobers, the flirtatious vibe seeping away as silence builds.

“I don’t want you to be daunted by me,amore mio.” He grabs my hand, raising my knuckles to his lips. “You told me before that I made you feel empowered. That I gave you confidence.”

“You do that, too.” I shake my head. “I wish I could explain…”

I can’t find the words.No, I can’t find the honesty. The truth about how Benji made me question my desirability isn’t something I’m willing to discuss.

“A man gave you these insecurities,” he answers for me.

I glance away, unsettled by his insight.

“It’s okay.” He kisses my knuckles again. “I’ll fix that for you. It won’t take long and you’ll realize the power you have over me with your body alone. I’d start a war for you.”

The blush creeps down my neck, heating my breasts.

A war is what it would take for my brother to let me be with an outsider.

“Tell me the problems with your family,” he adds. “Maybe I can fix that, too.”

“Youare the problem… Well, the assumption you’re responsible for the bruising on my face, anyway. They think I’m shacking up with an abuser.”

His face falls. “Why would they think that?”

“My past preferences, for a start.”

“With one of the Costas? Did Remy or Salvatore hit you?”

I want to correct him. To set him straight once and for all and confirm that I had no sexual relationship with my enemies. But I can’t expose that much of myself.

“It’s a long story,” I hedge. “Suffice to say I didn’t appreciate their judgment, and they didn’t welcome my anger. So when I delivered Stella to the airport, I caught the first flight to the only place I wanted to be.”

“It’ll blow over.” He tugs me back into his chest, pressing his lips to my forehead, holding me close for long, silent moments. “I’m sure they’ll be crawling back before you know it.”

“Apologies aren’t their strong suit.” They can’t even accept ones they’re offered. “But you’re right. It will blow over.” Eventually.

I place my palms on his waist, running my fingers over his smooth skin. The quiet stretches, yet the emptiness is filled with comfort.

I lean into the ease of simply being with him. I breathe him in and close my eyes to enjoy his warmth. It isn’t until a yawn takes over that his arms slowly fall to his sides.

“Do you want me to arrange a driver?” he murmurs into my hair. “I won’t hold it against you if you leave.”

The struggle of right against wrong and should against shouldn’t whispers in my ears. But what Iwantis this. More moments like here and now. More me and him in our own little world, even if it’s temporary.

I forced myself to stop feeling guilty about my life with Benji. Why can’t I stop questioning every forward step with Matthew, too? Just for a little while. Only until he grows tired of my anonymity and starts searching for more. Then I could leave.

Why not dive deep until then?

“Lay?” His lips press to my temple. “Are you staying or going?”

I suck in a deep breath, hearing Cole’s warnings in my head, battling against a life where I’ve been force-fed the line that I shouldn’t get close to strangers.

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