Page 54 of Playing Pretend

I scan the crowd, searching for the two men wreaking havoc on my life as I kick off my shoes and pick them up by their flimsy straps.

Just two more nights.

I pad forward, the sand hugging my toes while I enter the huddled mass.

There’s no Julian. No Rome. And until Cassidy finishes getting ready, there’s no office buddy to act as my buffer either.

“Champagne?” A cute blonde waitress beams a bubbly grin at me.

I shouldn’t. But I do. I take one of the offered flutes on her tray and continue meandering through the throng of colleagues and significant others, saying hellos, smiling politely, making casual chitchat.

I make my presence known to appease the bosses, because as soon as Rome shows his face my feeble confidence is likely to shrivel, and I’ll be on the fast track out of here.

Yet after fifteen minutes there’s no sign of him. I stand on my tippy-toes to rescan the crowd, then check my phone for a reply to my last message. There’s no response.

Maybe he’s frustrated with me. Or worse, angry.

Could I blame him?

He’s acted as though our time together has been judgement-free fun. While I’ve criticized and compartmentalized every move he’s made. Adding complications. Causing headaches.

If I hadn’t consumed a lake of liquor, I’m sure I’d have had this situation sorted by now. Instead, I drag myself down to the water to clear my head, taking in the sun as it creeps closer to the horizon. I attempt to lose myself in the artistry of pinks and purples, the picturesque beauty of the luminescent sky towering above the deep blue ocean. But not even the postcard view can stop the scandalous flashbacks today has provided.

I still feel him all over my body. His stubbled cheek against mine. His thigh between my legs.

Stop worrying so much and enjoy the opportunity you’ve got while it’s here.

Great. Now Cassidy is stuck in my head.

After many long minutes trying to gain a sense of equilibrium, the squeak of footsteps approach behind me. Slow and steady.

I already know it’s Rome. I can sense him. His aura. His essence.

His devilish soul whispers to the angel of mine, tickling the hair on my nape.

“Am I allowed to talk to you yet?” he murmurs to my back. “Or would you prefer if I kept my distance a while longer?”

I wince. “Of course you can talk to me.”

He inches closer behind me, entering my personal space, his alluring aftershave sinking into my lungs. His heated palms skim my waist as his chin comes to rest on my shoulder. A friendly embrace. Warm and perfect and so painfully apologetic my eyes burn.

“Do you still want to call it quits with the challenge?” His voice is low. Barely audible. “Before you answer, I’m going to be honest and admit I’ll feel like absolute shit if you do.”

My pulse flutters beneath tightening ribs.

A part of me wants to say yes. The fragile, insecure part that knows the aftermath to this adrenaline bomb is likely to be brutal. But the rest of me screams for the opportunity to take every morsel of his attention while I have it. To indulge in his touch. To sink into this fantasy existence while our subscription to insanity lasts.

“Today was…” I close my eyes, my skin knitting with goose bumps.

“It was hectic.” He drags in a breath, releasing it in a frustrated sigh. “I was livid with your ex. And the booze didn’t help. I just couldn’t stop thinking about how you let Julian change the way you see yourself. So why couldn’t I do the same? I thought all it would take was an easy orgasm...”

The starting sequence to a blistering blush bubbles beneath my skin. I wish I could keep my eyes closed. That I could hide in this cocoon of darkness forever.

Goddamnit. Why am I such a prude in front of him?

My body doesn’t react this way around anyone else. I’ve discussed sex, nudity, and orgasms with Cassidy without flaw. It’s only him. Only my best friend, who should make me feel the least guarded.

“I understand why you wanted to help,” I whisper, blinking my eyes open. “In the past I’ve felt the same way about you and Stacey. She’s the Julian in your situation as far as I’m concerned.”

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