Page 46 of Brutal Queen

He feels like a shelter in a storm, a haven, like family. Admittedly, it’s a found family that spends a significant amount of time naked together, but still family. I can’t explain the connection that exists between Sinclair and me, but I know I care for him and things wouldn’t feel right without him. It doesn’t hurt that I think it’s hot as fuck when his dominantside comes out, but that doesn’t mean I see him the same way I do Aurora and Nico.

We all belong together, but he’s not mine.

“Come on, let’s go find Nico,” Sinclair says, getting up and heading towards the dresser, tossing a pair of sweats onto the bed. Throwing back the sheets, I make short work of pulling on the joggers. I’ve probably spent enough time naked in front of Sin for the day.

We find them in the living room. Enzo is sitting in one of the armchairs while Nico is on the sofa, with his head resting in Aurora’s lap. I’m relieved to see him sleeping peacefully. Aside from looking devastatingly handsome, it’s the first time I’ve seen him look this relaxed in weeks. Aurora is alternating between brushing his hair off his face and delicately stroking his eyebrows. I taught her that trick. It always settles Nico in his sleep.

“He’s been out for about an hour,” she whispers, lifting Nico’s head and moves out from under him, leaving room for me to shuffle in instead. Nico stirs, and his eyelids flutter for a moment, but instead of waking, he rolls to his side and nuzzles his head into my belly. His breath tickles my side, and I flinch, having forgotten to throw on a shirt.

“Is he okay?” I ask, flicking my gaze between Enzo and Aurora.

“He was upset that he pushed you so far. He needs to see you when he wakes up. We had to drag him down here to get him to calm down,” Aurora says, her eyebrows drawn with worry.

“Aurora had a job talking him down. He was beside himself,” Enzo adds.

“This wasn’t his fault, Zo. I don’t think even he realised how much he’s been affected by Manny’s big reveal. I’ll talk to him when he wakes up,” I say, looking down at my sleepinggiant, continuing where Aurora left off, and brushing my fingertips over his brows as he starts to fidget.

As they make a move to leave, I ask Aurora to stay for a moment.

“It can’t just be me who talks to him about this,mia reginetta. You know it’s not just about who his father is,” I say, locking eyes with her and keeping my voice quiet so as not to wake Nico.

“I know,” she replies, her shoulders slumping.

“I think it affects him just as much knowing he’s Max’s brother,” I add.

I can see the sadness in her eyes. I know it’s not because she views Nico to be in any way like Max, it’s because, like me, she worries that’s what he thinks about himself. He’s always referred to himself as a monster, and over the last few weeks, it’s like he’s starting to believe that’s what he truly is. I’ve caught him staring at Aurora in her sleep, and sometimes even at Enzo when he thinks no one is watching. The expression that settles on Nico’s face is like a grim shadow, heavy and oppressive.

I hope we can convince him that there’s no way we could ever think that.

Aurora leaves, and I sit in the glow from the fireplace, absorbing the residual heat from its dying embers. The longer I sit trapped under the blanket of Nico, the more I feel at ease. I barely notice my eyelids drooping before I drift off to sleep again.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

NICO

Iwake up with a sinking feeling in my stomach that feels heavy and oppressive when I remember the night before. However, as I open my eyes, all my worries are smothered when I look up and see the ridges of my Bambi’s chest above me.

Scrambling to sit up, I straddle his hips and cup his face in my hands, loving seeing him wake up for me like a drowsy puppy. Yawning and stretching, nuzzling into my touch.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Bambi,” I say, my words tumbling out a moment before I kiss him with every ounce of emotion I’m feeling.

It’s not rough or punishing or anything like the connection we usually indulge in. This is a conversation. Equal parts apology and a declaration never to put him at risk again. Benny’s lips respond with tender movements and a soft groan that fills me with hope that I haven’t completely broken his trust in me.

Pulling back, I lose myself in Benny’s eyes. His pupils are blown wide and his irises are a dark emerald halo, reflecting nothing but love back at me.

“I will never put you?—”

“Don’t you dare apologise to me, Nico. I should have safeworded earlier?—”

“No, I should have stopped as soon as?—”

Benny huffs out a frustrated sigh and grabs my wrists, pulling them away from his face. “Would you shut the fuck up for a minute?”

I raise an eyebrow at his outburst, a crooked smile hitching on one side of my mouth.

“Yes, you should’ve stopped, but I should have known that you weren’t in the right headspace. I just expected you to be magically unaffected by everything that’s been happening, and that’s just bullshit.”

I try to interject, but he lays his hand over my mouth.

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