Page 97 of Rival Hearts
Charlotte’s intake of breath was very quiet, but I didn’t miss it.
“My mom and dad, the two wonderful people who took me in, are really great. They made me feel like a part of the family from day one, gave me the Blackwood name, and since then the Blackwood legacy, the company, all of it was supposed to come to me and to the others. My DNA had never had anything to do with it.”
“That’s so special,” Charlotte said.
I nodded. “Yeah, it is. And most of the time I can believe it. I’m a Blackwood. I am the CEO of a huge company, one of four who will carry on the legacy… but that part scares me.”
“Why?”
My deepest, darkest secrets were coming out now—things I’d never even thought about saying out loud.
“I can run a company just fine, and as long as my dad and brothers are on board that’s great. We’re doing the right thing. But when it comes to the other stuff—marriage, children—I don’t know if I can do it.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, how can I be a good father if I’m… this?”
“What’sthis?” Charlotte asked.
I shrugged and chuckled ruefully. “I don’t actually know. I just know that everything my parents are and ever were to us growing up, I can never be. I may have the Blackwood name and the title and the money and the fame, but deep down inside I’m not a Blackwood. I’m the kid who got beaten to a pulp every night because I…” My voice caught in my throat, and I couldn’t say the words.Because I’ve never been good enough.
“Whatever they did to you when you were a kid, they were wrong, Alex,” Charlotte said sternly. “Don’t you dare for one second think any of it was your fault. People who beat children belong in jail, and there’s a very special place reserved in hell for them. How could you have stopped something like that?”
I didn’t know how to answer her. Of course Iknewthat. Theoretically, the facts made sense. But tofeelthat was something different.
“I just can’t fill my dad’s shoes,” I said in a hoarse voice. “He was a fantastic role model, the best dad anyone could ever ask for. But I can’t live up to that. I can’t ever be the kind of man he is.”
“No,” Charlotte said and it stung. “You can’t ever be him because, Alex… you’reyou. Do you know what I see when I look at you?”
I shook my head, the sting wearing off again. She hadn’t meant to agree with me about the skewed vision I had of myself.
“I don’t see a Blackwood when I look at you. I don’t see your money or your company or your popularity. I know that’s what the rest of the world sees but when I look at you, I see a man who cares. I see someone who’s so kind and gentle that when the world got fucked up and hurt you, you shut down to save yourself. And there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong withyou. You’re an incredible man, and I will keep tellingyou that, if that’s what you need to hear, until you see in yourself what I see.”
I looked at Charlotte. She was a vision, an angel sent from the heavens to save me.
“What on earth did I do to deserve you?” I asked.
“Alex, you have no idea how great you are.” She leaned forward and kissed me. “But that’s okay because I’ll just have to remind you until you do.”
“So… speaking of the Blackwoods, we’re having a family barbecue this weekend.”
What the fuck was I doing?
“Do you want to come with me?”
She tilted her head to the side, her hair hanging to the pillow.
“As…?”
“As my date,” I said before I could stop myself. “I think they’ll like you.”
She thought about it. “Do you really want to introduce me to your family?”
I nodded, determined to see this through.
“If it won’t be weird, then sure.”
“It won’t be.” I pulled her closer for a kiss. “You’ll love them, too. Especially my parents. I meant it when I said they’re wonderful people.”
