Page 48 of Ruined

"No." My voice cracks. "Don't you understand? He's hurting someone I know because I'm not there. Because you took me."

Tears blur my vision. I try to blink them back but they spill over, hot and unstoppable. My chest constricts, making it hard to breathe.

"Who would he take? Jessica? Oh god, what if it's Jessica?" The thought of my little sister in Ivan's hands breaks something inside me. "I need to call her. I need to make sure she's okay."

Noah kneels in front of me, his hands on my knees. "It’s a man's finger. We're checking on everyone connected to you. If it's someone you know, we'll find out."

"And then what?" I look down at him through my tears. "Another finger tomorrow? A hand next week? How many pieces of someone I care about will it take before you let me go?"

"I'm not letting you go to him."

"This is my fault," I repeat, the words tearing from my throat. "I signed that contract. I was so desperate to get away from my father that I jumped straight into Ivan's trap. And now someone's paying for my mistake."

The tears come harder now, my shoulders shaking with each sob. I cover my face with my hands, unable to look at Noah anymore.

"I just wanted to play my music. That's all I ever wanted." My voice is barely audible between gasps. "And now someone is being tortured because of me."

Noah tries to pull my hands away from my face but I resist.

"Look at me, Evelyn."

I shake my head, curling further into myself.

"This isn't your fault. It's Ivan's. He's the monster here."

But his words can't penetrate the wall of guilt crushing me. All I can think about is whose finger is sitting in a box, and how many more pieces of them Ivan is willing to cut off so as to get to me.

I feel Noah’s warmth cutting through my despair. His thumb brushes my cheek, wiping away tears I can't seem to stop.

"Evelyn," he says, his voice softer than I've ever heard it. "Look at me."

I shake my head, still hiding behind my hands. I don't want him to see me like this—broken, terrified, guilty.

But Noah gently pries my fingers away from my face. When I finally meet his eyes, the intensity I find there steals my breath. There's no mockery, no coldness—just something raw and unguarded that makes my heart stutter.

He leans in slowly, giving me time to pull away. But I don't. I remain frozen as his lips brush against my wet cheek, kissing away a tear. The tenderness of the gesture makes me tremble. He moves to the other cheek, his lips warm against my skin, tasting my tears.

"This isn't your fault," he murmurs against my temple.

Something shifts inside me—the guilt momentarily eclipsed by a desperate need to feel something other than this crushing fear. I turn my head slightly and our lips meet.

This kiss is different from our first. That was fire and fury—this is something else entirely. It's gentler, but no less desperate.I taste my own tears on his lips, salt mixing with the lingering whiskey.

My hands move to his shoulders, then to the buttons of his shirt. I fumble, my fingers clumsy with urgency. I need to feel his skin against mine, need to lose myself in something that isn't this nightmare.

"Evelyn," Noah breathes against my mouth, his hands covering mine. "Are you sure?"

I answer by continuing to unbutton his shirt, my movements growing more determined. I push the fabric from his shoulders, revealing the tattoos that snake across his skin. I trace them with my fingertips, following the dark lines that tell stories I don't yet understand.

Noah's breathing quickens as my hands explore his chest. I push him back slightly, just enough to pull his shirt completely off. The sight of him—all lean muscle and marked skin—sends a rush of heat through me that momentarily drowns out everything else.

"I need to forget," I say, my voice breaking. "Just for a little while. Make me forget."

Noah's eyes darken at my words, something primal replacing the tenderness. His mouth crashes against mine, no longer gentle but consuming. I gasp against his lips, surrendering to the intensity as his tongue slides against mine.

"I'll make you forget everything," he promises, his voice a rough whisper that sends shivers down my spine.

His hands move to the hem of my shirt, pulling it over my head in one fluid motion. The cool air hits my skin, but I barely notice as Noah's gaze rakes over me. My bra follows quickly, tossed aside as Noah pushes me back onto the bed.

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