Page 1 of Almost Love

PROLOGUE

DECORAH, IOWA | 2003

The envelope had already passed through five hands before it reached the object of her affection. Clementine watched the whole thing with bated breath. She wasliterallyholding her breath as the cream handmade and hand-painted letter journeyed through the courtyard. Her friends were giggling and whispering to each other behind her. For a brief moment, she heard the voice of her best friend, telling her that this was a bad idea.

“You know they’re fucking with you, Tiny.”

“They’re helping me, Mack! You just don’t like them.”

He shook his head, hands resting on his hips. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I’m a big girl, I’ll be fine.”

“You know that I’ll put them in their place if they break your heart.”

She smiled up at Mack and wrapped her arms around his waist, head resting on his shoulder. “You’re the best friend a person could ask for.”

And he was, but in this regard, she needed someone to give her the courage to do this. Her friends seemed to have no compunction in doing what Mack could not.

It landed in the hands of a pretty redhead, who traced the pink hearts Clementine had drawn all over the paper. Her stomach tightened at how long it was taking. She was beyond anxious now, just needing the letter to land in the hands of the right person. She blinked quickly, wetting her drying eyes and when she refocused on the scene before her, she found a random freshman handing her note over to Felix Johnson.

She saw his beautiful face twist in confusion and quickly hid behind the pillar she was leaning against. Pressing her forehead to the cool concrete, she forced herself to breathe. She should be used to this given how many times she’d done it in the last three years. But every single time one of her letters reached the object of her affection, Clementine would start to fall apart.

George, Lucy, Max, Rahul, Genevieve, Priya, Felix…to name a few of the people who got her sensible underwear in a twist. The list kept growing every year.

The sound of loud laughter and cackling, teasing and howling made her eyes snap open. Her heart started to race when she heard a gruff unfamiliar voice reading out the contents of the letter. She gasped for air and turned to look for her girlfriends, but they were gone, leaving her alone. Clementine swallowed hard, closed her eyes and counted her breaths before she peered around the pillar.

Everyone was still laughing and joking about her letter, but Felix’s eyes were scanning the courtyard. She willed herself to move, but couldn’t. As much as she wanted Felix to know who she was, she also didn’t. However, her body was betraying her by being stuck and frozen in that position. He did another sweep of the teenagers and then his eyes landed on her, widening slightly as his mouth tipped up in a smile. Had this been her first time,she would have thought the smile was a flirty acknowledgement of his feelings for her. But she knew better.

Pretty, popular, talented and smart boys like Felix Johnson didn’t interact with girls like Clementine Kinney—wallflower, quiet and inconsequential.

Felix nudged his friend and nodded towards her, which then set off a line of nudges until everyone was looking at her. They were all annoyingly beautiful and popular, and now they knew who she was. She sucked in a sharp breath as they read loudly from her letter. This drew the attention of more people and made her heart drop to her stomach.

Pushing off the wall, she felt tears slide down her cheeks as she shoved her way through the crowd of students. She wasn’t paying attention to the people around her, just focused on getting to the restroom. Locking herself in the last stall, she dropped the cover and collapsed onto the toilet. Her hands shook as she dragged them through her thick dark hair, willing herself to take deeper breaths through the panic.

At the same time, she listened as giggling students walked in and out of the bathroom. Running water, flushing toilets and intoxicating perfume hit her in waves, but she didn’t let any of it distract her. The sound of her gasping breaths competed with the racing of her heart, making her want to pull at her hair to help her body settle.

When she was finally able to think clearly, Clementine acknowledged that her friends had abandoned her.Again.

Mack was right: they were using her. For three years, they’d used her tendency to crush on everyone as entertainment and she kept giving them more chances, only to get hurt.

Hiding out in the bathroom, she lost track of time. Her things were back in her locker, including her phone, so she didn’t even know how long she’d been in there. It was only when the janitor came by to empty the trash cans that she realized how late it was. With her knapsack over one shoulder and phone in hand, she made her way home. Her parents had called a few times, and so had her brothers. There were a few texts in all caps from Mack, but not a single sign of concern from her friends.

Walking through the front door of the Kinney house three hours later than normal, Clementine found everyone crowded in the living room. Mack was the first person on his feet, eyes narrowed as he took in her messy hair, the tear tracks on her cheeks and the slump of her shoulders. He’d always been able to read her so well, it was disconcerting.

Before he could say anything, her mother was rushing over and wrapping her in a tight hug. “Where were you, honey? I’ve been worried sick!”

“Sorry, Mama,” she whispered against her mother’s shoulders, tears springing to her eyes.

“Are you all right?”

Forcing herself to nod, she pulled back and stretched her lips into a small smile. “I’m really tired.”

“We’ve been calling for hours, Tiny,” her father said, and she sank into his arms, feeling as small as the nickname he’d given her when she was a kid.

“I’m really sorry. I was in the library and lost track of time.” The lie came out way too smoothly and she sighed whenher father pulled away to reveal Mack. Shaking her head, she swallowed back the truth. “I’m okay, Mack.”

He cupped her face with one hand, lifting her eyes to his. She wanted to pull away, because if there was one thing her best friend knew about her, it was that her eyes told the truth. And she wasnotokay.

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