Page 124 of Almost Love

“When shit happens, everything changes, right?”

“Ah, more changes. And apparently more shit.”

She chuckled drily. “I fucked up.”

“We all make mistakes.”

“I keep making fucking mistakes,” she groaned and sat up, elbows resting on her knees as she stared at the floor.

“Let’s talk about this particular mistake.”

Suddenly Oakley’s tear-filled eyes and downturned mouth as she saidI’m sorryappeared in her mind. Blinking the visual away, she picked at a hangnail. “I overheard a conversation he was having with a client. They said something about how maybe what we had was more thanjust sexand I panicked.” Wincing at how ridiculous she sounded now, she looked up at Rhiannon, who nodded for her to continue. “He said the sex was phenomenal.”And that I’m fucking perfect.

Rhiannon tapped her pen against her notebook. “Did you talk to him?”

“Yes. Well…sort of.”

The tapping stopped and her therapist said, “Explain, please.”

Chewing on the inside of her cheek, Clementine stared at her feet and how her laces weren’t threaded through the eyelets of her sneakers properly. Because that was easier than admitting that she let her history and the dumb voices in her head make decisions that day.

“I chose to believe my insecurities over what he was saying to me.”

“Why?”

She blew out a breath. “Because I convinced myself early on that this was going to be like every other time I’ve allowed myself to feel something for someone.”

“Do you believe that he thinks it was only sex and nothing else?”

“No.”

Rhiannon cleared her throat and said, “What did you say?”

Clementine winced again. “I was an asshole. Then I yelled that I loved him in the middle of it all. And drove away.”

Silence stretched between them and she knew it wasn’t because Rhiannon was judging her, just allowing her to stew in her admission. She didn’t need therapy to tell her that what she did was ridiculous and unfair. But it helped to have the weight of someone’s gaze in that moment.

“I was so terrible, Rhiannon,” she added in a whisper, throat closing up.

“You were hurt, you reacted and said what you did. You were protecting yourself, even if you did hurt him.”

“I didn’t want to hurt him, I just…”

“Has he done anything to trigger these fears before?” Clementine shook her head at the question, worrying her bottom lip. “With your history and those insecurities, I can see why you’d respond the way you did. But why now?”

She shrugged. “I’d love to blame it on reflexes, but I honestly don’t know. I know that we love each other, but in that moment, I snapped. It was onlyafterthat I realized what I’d done.”

“And you haven’t contacted him since?”

“He called and texted a couple of times, but I haven’t responded.”

Rhiannon watched her for a long moment and nodded. “Okay, let’s come back to that in a bit. How’s everything else?”

Breathing out slowly, she looked away. “We’re ready for the Food Fling tomorrow. My contractor has been working roundthe clock at the new shop and everything is coming together really well.”

“That’s good to hear. Are you excited?”

I’m trying to be.“Yeah, but I’m mostly stressed. I know we can do it. My staff are made up of some of the most incredible people. But we’ve never donethisbefore.”

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