Page 41 of Almost Love

“What question?”

“Whatever has you staring at me like that.”

He smiled and took another bite of his pizza. She grunted and then her toes were pressing against his thigh. He laughed and dropped his hand to grab her foot, which made them freeze. Her skin felt so soft under his touch, but he didn’t let go. In fact, Clementine not pulling away instantly was more telling than anything else.

“You’re beautiful. You know that, right?”

“Yes, obviously,” she deadpanned and he smiled, thumb brushing along the arch of her foot. “But that’s not what you wanted to ask me.”

“We’re making conversation, Clem.” She wiggled her foot and he released it, smiling as she crossed her legs at the ankles and arched an eyebrow at him. “As crass as it might sound, what’s your deal with sex?”

She chewed her food slowly, like she was pondering her answer. He could assure her that this was a judgment-free zone, but she didn’t need those platitudes. They’d agreed to enter intoa sex for the sake of sex deal. There was no room for judgment at all.

Besides, if and when she turned the question on him, Oakley knew that he would struggle to put words to his truth too. He wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed about his history, but talking about it was always challenging. It would take some effort to get the words out and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to burden her with his trauma.

“When everyone else was hooking up and sleeping around, I wasn’t. High school was hard for me and at the same time, I didn’t get the hype. In college, I had two girlfriends and that was it. For me, it’s always felt like…effort.” She admitted the last bit softly and he nodded, picking at the pepperoni on his pizza. “I’m not a big fan of people, so hook-up culture didn’t work. Sex is not just sex for me. I need that connection, I need toknowthe person and trust them on some level.”

“So what you’re saying is that you trust me,” he teased and when he got a glare in return, his smile widened. “Apologies, please continue.”

Rolling her eyes—he honestly loved that action, because it was soClementine—she set her food aside and toyed with the material of her dress. “I don’t like masturbating either. It’s not from lack of trying. I getsobored. I know how it works and I know what it’s supposed to do, but I don’t enjoy it. And I know what you’re going to say, how do I enjoy pleasure? I don’t need sexual pleasure, I find it in other things. And the last time I was horny enough to think about sex…well, it brought me to you.”

Oakley wanted to smile, but he knew better than to make this about him. He had to admit, however, that hearing her talk so openly and honestly about masturbation and lack of interest fascinated him. Now all he wanted to do was show her that sexual pleasure was one of the greatest things in the world. As someone who relied on masturbation for pleasure, he knew thatit did get the edge off. But also as someone whose body didn’t do what it wasmeant to, to put it simply, he understood what she meant about not finding masturbation exciting. Sexual pleasure, with someone else or at your own hands, wasn’t for everyone and he liked that she was being honest with him about it.

“Say something,” she whispered, eyes still on her lap.

“I don’t like people either. Okay, I like them a little more than you do, but meeting people in the hopes of dating or sex…well, thatisintimidating. Though, I do enjoy masturbation. And I get that it’s different for everyone, but there’s something about letting your mind wander while you rub, tug, stroke one out, right?”

“Is there? What do you think about when you’re jerking off?”

He shook his head, pressing his lips together.I walked into that one and good luck getting out of it. “Things.”

Her foot attacked him again and before he could grab it this time, she yanked it back. “Tell me.”

“It’s not that important, really.”

“You think about me, don’t you?” There was no stopping the blush as the heat crawled up his neck and covered his face.Oh boy, we’re in deep shit now. “Somehow that’s kinda hot.”

He cleared his throat and ate more of his pizza because it was awkward enough being in this position with Clementine. He didn’t need to be thinking about her naked while she was sitting with him. Instead, he set his food aside and turned on the couch to face her.

“I’d like to help you figure out and enjoy masturbation,” he said, forcing the words out slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. “I’m not saying it’s a requirement for every human, but I really think you’d like it.”

“Can’t you do all the touching and fingering and let me enjoy it instead?”

His mouth went dry at the words, but he nodded. Somehow. “I will. But don’t you want to give it a shot?”

She pursed her lips and then shrugged. “Just once. For you.”

For you. That would play on loop for days to come and he was absolutely fine with that. She wasn’t even trying to be sexy, but those two words held more meaning than she’d ever fully understand.

“Oh, you know what we should do?” Her face was split into a smile he’d never seen before, one that reached her eyes and lit her up completely. His breath caught as she hopped up and rushed away. She came back with her laptop and dropped onto the couch beside him. This time, she sat close enough that he could smell her vanilla, cinnamon and sugar scent. He wondered if that was her perfume or soap, or maybe working with dessert all day made her smell that way.

“What are we doing?”

She loaded up a browser and typed furiously before turning the screen to face him. “Researching sex.”

“Why?”

“Because I like research. It comforts me.” He filed that information away for another day as she continued, “We’re worried about sex and you’re going to show me what it’s like to masturbate…what about the rest of it?”

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