Page 58 of Almost Love

He took a spoon from her and cut into the yellow one first, since he knew that wasn’t the blood orange one. She leaned back against the cabinets as he put the spoon in his mouth. The taste was immediate, it was tangy, coconuty and something that added a little bit of sweetness to the flavor.

“Coconut, passionfruit and I want to say pineapple?”

“Impressive. Didn’t know you had such a refined palate,” she teased and he puffed out his chest proudly. “This was the most unplanned one. We intended for it to be pineapple and coconut, but realized we didn’t have enough of both for a sampler, so we tossed in some passionfruit and suddenly it enhanced the whole thing.”

Nodding, he cut into the other slice. “The sweetness is balanced really well,” he mumbled as he shoved it into his mouth. It was a good thing she told him what the flavor was, because the minute the cake hit his tongue, the citrus exploded.His eyes slipped shut and he groaned, the flavors mingling together. “That was intense, but so fucking good.”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think there’s been anything you’ve made that I haven’t liked.”

“There’s time,” she joked, kissed his cheek and was on her feet again. “Eat, I’m going to clean up.”

“Clem, hey…” he got up and set the cakes aside, reaching for her elbow gently so he could pull her back to him. Her beautiful brown eyes stared up into his and he smiled. “You’re amazing, that’s all.”

“Thank you,” she said softly, hands resting on his biceps as she stretched up to kiss him softly. Before he could lean in for more, she was pulling away and out of his arms. He leaned against the counter and ate more cake, doing his best not to inhale them. The whole time, she was wiping down her counters and putting everything away.

“Maybe when you’re done, we can move to the bedroom?”

His eyes widened and nodded, forcing the cake down his throat. “Yeah.”

“How do you feel about waiting for me—” her skin turned pink as her eyes met his briefly ”—naked?”

“Yes, chef.”

He would wait for her in whatever state she wanted. Oakley finished the cake and put everything into the dishwasher. He stopped to kiss the side of Clementine’s head and with his heart pounding, he went up to her bedroom. Smiling to himself, he stripped out of his clothes, even his boxers, and tossed everything onto the chair in the corner. Then changed his mind. He tugged his underwear back on and sat at the foot of the bed. In the few minutes he’d taken to remove his clothes, his fears came flooding back and he felt breathless. Closing his eyes, he leaned forward and buried his face in his hands.

Talk to her. Tell her what’s going on. Explain it to her.

When the music stopped, he sat up straight and adjusted his glasses, eyes fixed on the doorway. He saw lights go out before she appeared in his line of sight, her body silhouetted against the one lamp still left on. He couldn’t see her face, but could feel her eyes on his half-naked form.

“You forgot a layer,” she said and he nodded, jaw clenched so tight, he thought he might crack a tooth. She moved to sit beside him, but didn’t touch him. “What’s wrong?”

In the dimly lit room, he stared at her bare thigh. Taking in the little bumps along her skin and a small bruise above her kneecap. He knew what he wanted to say, but forcing the words out took a lot more effort. With a heavy sigh, he closed his eyes and started to speak.

“Remember when I told you about rehab? Well…before I got clean and made an effort to change my life, there were things that happened to me that I can’t fully remember.” Not for lack of trying, either. Kristof had attempted to use hypnosis to recover the repressed memories, but Oakley’s mind had been stronger than that. “I don’t know if it happened or not, but there are vague memories of sex with faceless strangers. Sex that I did not consent to.”

He heard her suck in a sharp breath. “That’s where a lot of my trauma with sex comes from. Panic attacks before and after sex were the norm for a while and I’ve been more or less celibate for the last few years because of it.”

“I’m sorry, Oakley. I hate that that happened to you.”

Opening his eyes, he told himself that delivering this last bit needed to be done while looking at her. So when he lifted his head and met her eyes, he saw compassion reflected back at him. Not pity, or sympathy, just clear understanding and support.

“I sometimes can’t come. Especially with a partner. When I’m on my own, it’s less stressful and panicky.”

“I understand,” she said softly. “Orgasms have often eluded me too. It’s normal.”

God, this woman.“It is normal. But I don’t want you to think it has anything to do with you if I can’t.”

“I know.”

He nodded slowly, hands resting on his knees as he tried to process everything that was happening between them. He knew that Clementine would be far more understanding than most people, but feeling like he wasn’tenoughhad made him so tense.

“Oakley.” Her whisper drew his attention. “Thank you for telling me. I can only imagine how difficult that was. We don’t have to do anything tonight.”

“I want to.” He shifted so that his body was turned to her. “For the first time in a long time, I want to. And it’s only because it’s you, Clem.”

“Are you sure?”

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