Page 69 of Almost Love

CHAPTER 19

Usually, Clementine was good at making a list of things to do and crossing everything off regularly. The one thing she had been ignoring for the last few weeks was ‘Schedule an appointment with Rhiannon’. Not because she didn’t want to attend therapy, but because she was so busy. There were days when she felt overwhelmed and wanted to talk, but she’d get distracted and forget about scheduling her appointment.

In the last week, however, she had been feeling unsteadier than usual. Partly because of her former crush resurfacing, partly because of the man teaching her self-pleasure and mostly because she kept getting stuck in her head. Finding out that her therapist had a free hour was enough for Clementine to walk out of the bakery in the middle of the day.

“I wasn’t expecting donuts today,” Rhiannon said, powdered sugar covering her upper lip.

Clementine settled into the couch and touched her mouth. “I’ve been experimenting and thought you’d appreciate a taste test.”

Rhiannon grabbed a napkin and wiped her mouth. “These get my vote. I can’t identify the flavor, though.”

“Apple cider with powdered cinnamon.”

Rhiannon popped the last bit into her mouth. “Feel free to bring me crates of these next time.”

“Or I could send you a box a week.”

“Does that mean I’m not going to see you again for a month?” Clementine made a face, which caused Rhiannon to laugh. “All right, what’s going on in your life these days?”

“The usual, really. Work is crazy as always and I might be working on more weddings this year than I thought,” she said, shifting around until she was comfortable. “My older brother and his wife are moving to India for a few years because of her job, so that’s going to be weird.”

“Why weird?”

“I mean, fair, it’s not like I see them regularly. But he’s always close by. Now they’re going to be miles and hoursandtimezones away.”

Rhiannon nodded. “When was the last time you saw them?”

“Thanksgiving. They hosted us and it was great. Look, I know it’s not that strange, but mostly, I feel like I took them being here for granted.”

“It’s not like they won’t come back, right?”

“Right.” She sighed, because the truth was, she was happy for Callum and Sandra. “That’s not really a big thing, though. Not sure why I brought it up.”

“Because on some level, it does bother you. It’s okay to be unhappy with decisions other people make,” Rhiannon explained. “But let’s focus on you.”

Groaning loudly and dramatically, she crossed her arms over her chest. Rhiannon arched an amused eyebrow at her and she rolled her eyes.

“The last time I saw you, you were running yourself ragged. Has that changed?”

“Yeah, I guess. I’m delegating more and even took a few days off.”

“What brought that on?” Rhiannon asked, pen poised to take notes.

“Burned some of our offerings,” she mumbled, eyes dropping to her lap. “Xander came by the shop and I was caught off guard. I hid away and spiraled, felt short of breath and discombobulated. Was sent to my office, like a child being punished. It was…unpleasant.”

“Have you had an anxiety attack before?”

Clementine frowned, shaking her head. “Not that I’m aware of. I’m sure there were instances, but I can’t remember them.” Rhiannon scribbled, nodding for her to continue. “Freya and Roscoe handled a cake tasting and it went off without a hitch.”

“You say that like you didn’t think they could do it.”

She knew her face was twisted into a grimace, so she shrugged. “I do trust them, but I like having control over these kinds of situations.”

“I’m proud of you for giving up that control.” Rhiannon tilted her head as she added, “Do we need to address the Xander interaction?”

“Nope. It was a minor glitch in my day.”

In the six years she’d been seeing Rhiannon, she’d mentioned her past romantic relations and this one fumble with Xander. Her therapist had suggested meeting new people, going on dates and seeing what was out there. For Clementine that was too much. It was part of Rhiannon’s process to get her comfortable in unfamiliar settings. However, it didn’t work. She liked her group of friends, her close-knit circle of people.