Page 70 of Almost Love

Talking about Oakley would break a rule—it kept flashing in her head like one of those vacancy signs at a motel—and also force her to actually discuss how she felt.

On the other hand, she could totally help me navigate this as well.

“I met someone,” she blurted out, frowning at the lack of control.

“And…who are they?”

“Oakley, he’s a tattoo artist. He’s been coming around the bakery for a few months. Asked me out, I said no. Then I changed my mind and asked for no strings attached sex. He said yes, but then it became friends with benefits because I couldn’t ignore the strings. And we’ve been…benefiting ever since.”

Rhiannon’s eyes were wide at the breathless ramble, but she was also smiling. “So much to unpack there. This is a big step for you, are you enjoying it?”

She looked away, trying to piece together her thoughts. Because it was a big step and she was enjoying it. That was not really her issue though.

“Yes. But it’s more about…feelings.”

“What are the feelings?”

“It was a crush, now it’s something more.”

Rhiannon nodded. “Does that scare you?”

“Sort of.” Clementine looked away as she added, “He’s teaching me self pleasure, masturbation, if you will.”

“I’m glad. But that’s not what I asked.”

“It could be all the endorphins, but Ilikehim. I don’t know where this is going so I obviously don’t want to get too attached. But my feelings don’t care about that.”

“Maybe you don’t have to analyze it so closely. Just enjoy it and take it one day at a time.”

Clementine nodded, eyes fixed on her lap. “He’s been really great, though.”

“I’m glad. He’s the first man you’ve been with, right?”

Her head bobbed in a quick nod. “I told him about my struggles with sex. Explained my history and he was really understanding.”

“So the benefits are mostly about self-pleasure.”

Another nod as Clementine said, “Partly. He’s also got some sex related trauma. He’s embarrassed and frustrated every time, and I assure him that it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I want to do and say the right thing to help him.”

“Be there for him. Small steps, okay? Now, tell me what isgreatwith Oakley.”

This time she couldn’t even fight the smile that tugged at her lips. “He’s probably single-handedly filling up my bank account, because he’s buying a dozen donuts every day. He doesn’t even try very hard, but I find myself wanting to smile around him. He’s so gentle and understanding, plus he encourages my research-oriented mind to go down a spiral.” Her heart thumped so hard, it felt like the organ was attempting to burst out of her chest.

“And he asks every time before touching me,” she added softly. Her whole body warmed at the memory of the night before. He asked if he could fuck her with his fingers while she rubbed her clit, a switch to what they’d been doing ever since he showed her how to masturbate. It had been an intense orgasm, because when she came, her vision went blurry for a brief moment.

“I’m happy for you, Clementine. From the expression on your face, I can tell that this is more than you expected.” At her nod, Rhiannon smiled and added, “Allow yourself to enjoy it. Don’t overthink it.Enjoy it.”

“In the history of being tolddon’t overthink it, has anyone not overthought it?” Frowning with her shoulders curving inwards, Clementine stared at her feet.

“What is the worst thing that could happen?”

“I fall in love with him and he breaks my heart.”

Rhiannon shrugged. “Or he could love you the way you deserve.”

That felt like an unlikely situation. Yes, she knew that Oakley had feelings for her—it was in his actions, his words and, most often, in his eyes. She was overwhelmed the first time she comprehended what it might mean. It still scared her, but she was better at not letting those things affect her. Love was a possible next step, but right now she was focusing on not losing herself entirely.

A soft alarm rang to end the session, she blew out a heavy breath and stood up. “Thanks for today.”

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