Page 25 of Almost Always

“I’m sorry,” he started. “Ihavebeen busy with Cal and work and settling in. As much as it pains me to admit it, I lost your number. I thought I’d put it into my phone, but the napkin went through the washer.”

“That feels like such ayouthing to do.”

He shrugged. “Not much has changed.”

“I beg to differ, but change isn’t a bad thing.”

Nodding, they watched each other for a long moment before she turned to the flowers. She had so many questions, she wanted to understand why he was in Wildes, what brought him to this small town that was in the middle of nowhere. Shecouldn’t wait to dig into his beautiful mind and find out who he was now. Knowing that he didn’t have a partner waiting at home eased some of that guilt she’d let fester, but she was still nervous about letting herself get attached. It was easy to say that Rafferty wouldn’t hurt her, but they were different people now and priorities had shifted, so she didn’t know what this meant for them. Even as friends.

She brushed hair out of her face and smiled. “So you’re sticking around?”

“For as long as this town will have me.”

And what about me?

She didn’t say that out loud. Instead her smile widened and she nodded. If he asked for her opinion, she would insist that he stay forever. They stared at each other, smiles tugging at lips and eyes lighting up and it felt like the old days. Back when they could talk without saying a damn thing, when brief touches and wiggles of eyebrows were enough to communicate everything.

All of a sudden, a blaring sound filled the shop. They jumped and he swore under his breath as he pulled out his phone. He silenced the alarm and his eyebrows dipped at whatever he was reading.

“I’m sorry, Daze. I have to go.”

“Is everything okay? Is it Callahan?”

He shook his head and put his phone away. “Fire emergency.”

“Fire…what?”

“I’m a firefighter.” She stared at him, heart pounding against her ribs at the thought of losing this man to a burning building. He offered her a small smile, tucking hair behind her ear, his thumb brushing along her jaw. The touch seared through her, but she didn’t pull away. “I’ll be okay.”

“Please be safe.”

“Of course.”

She pushed the closest piece of paper and pencil towards him. “Your number.” He scribbled it down, eyes meeting hers again. She felt like she couldn’t breathe, but she forced out the words, “Come back to me, okay?”

“Always,” he said, voice softer and raspier.

He looked like he was going to say something else, when his phone rang again and he pulled back to stare at the screen. She was glad he didn’t make any more promises, because she was already so afraid that he might not make it back. Everybody watched as he left, then eyes swung to her and she held herself together, being strong so she wouldn’t fall apart.

A LETTER

10 · 30 · 2006

Dear Daisy,

Obviously this is becoming more of a journal than actual letters, but that doesn’t stop me from writing these like I’m talking to you. Especially since things have gotten so busy and we haven’t spoken in weeks. I know we promised that we would do whatever it took to keep in touch, but I think we’re failing. You sounded so distracted the last time we spoke, I hope you’re okay. I hope that Greenville is good to you, that you really have made all the right friends and you’re happy.

I really need you to be happy, Hero. Because if I even get a whiff that you’re not, I’m driving out there and bringing you home.

So this might come as a surprise because I didn’t tellyou when we last spoke. There’s a good reason—you would have tried to change my mind and I would have let you.

I’m training to be a firefighter.

I know, I know. Am I crazy? Maybe, who the fuck knows. There was an incident on campus and the firefighters showed up. Turned out, there wasn’t actually a fire, but watching them work? It was incredible. They’re just regular people voluntarily running towards a burning structure to save people all at the risk of their own lives. Then last year, there was a crazy pile up on the freeway and I watched the entire thing on TV with Poppy. Did you know that firefighters do so much more than just put out fires? They do all of the dangerous shit that cops can’t or won’t. Hanging off a building or saving someone from a crushed vehicle. They do it all.

And I decided that I wanted to do that.

Definitely call me crazy, because I signed up with FDNY. They promised that it’s going to be grueling and take a lot out of me. It’s a good thing I’m still only working part-time with Dad, or I’d never pass these tests. Can you believe I have to do a written and physical test to be eligible? You know how much I hate tests.

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