Page 40 of Almost Always

CHAPTER 13

THEN, 2003

Her father had brought up the idea of them leaving New York months ago. She’d held onto the secret for so long, because a part of her hoped that he would change his mind. Daisy understood why he made the decision and that he hadn’t done it lightly. Ever since Rafferty told him about her eating habits, her father had been doing everything in his power to be there for her. In the beginning, it felt overwhelming with how much he hovered. She got it, though. Plus, her therapist even suggested that her father be available more in case anything else happened.

The thing she didn’t understand was why they had to leave the city.

It had become more of a home than she thought it would. While she didn’t remember every detail of her first year in New York, she was safer and more comfortable there than she’d been in Cologne. So when he told her that they would most likely be moving to Greenville, South Carolina, she did all of the research she could about the place.

It was easier than focusing on the fact that she was leaving Rafferty behind. Now that he was at college, she barely saw himand it always felt like cause for a celebration when he came home on the weekends to do his laundry.

In a way, leaving the city meant that she could start fresh and escape her bullies. It was still quite scary to think about moving somewhere new and having to meet people all over again. Her father kept assuring her that he had tons of family there and everyone would be so excited to see her. She believed him, but she couldn’t grasp the idea of leavinghome.

The plan was for her to finish out that academic year, then move to Greenville halfway through summer so she could settle in before starting at her new school. Her father made multiple trips out to get everything ready and to ensure that it was the right place for them. After all, Greenville was where the company he worked for was based out of.

And that meant he would be home more and he wouldn’t miss all the signs that she was struggling.

She had been forced to tell him about the bullying as well, which turned into a big sob fest during a therapy session. Daisy understood the importance of having those conversations with her father, but she also felt like she was breaking his heart every time she said something. Especially since he would never have known about any of these things unless she told him. She’d been so angry with Rafferty for tattling on her after he caught her weighing herself while eating. But there was a small benefit to it, because she was getting the help she needed.

Her father decided to break the news to the Ames family one weekend. She had tried to get him to do it before that, because looking at Rafferty after that would have been hard. But that also required telling her father about her feelings for the boy next door, and she wasn’t ready for that yet.

Like any other day, they let themselves into the Ames brownstone and found everyone in the kitchen. Daisy couldn’t meet anybody’s gaze as her father said, “I’ve got some news.”

She felt everyone hold their breath in anticipation of the news. Squeezing her eyes shut to keep the tears at bay, Daisy stood quietly as he added, “We’re moving to Greenville at the end of the summer.”

The silence was deafening and it took her a few more minutes to look at everyone. The adults were staring at her father in shock, but the devastation in Rafferty’s eyes mirrored her own. She sucked in a sharp breath at his expression, because it was so unexpected. Her crush on him had come over her like a wave a few years ago and she was sure that everyone but Rafferty knew about her feelings. The way he was looking at her? It made her think that maybe he felt the same way.

She’d jumped when everyone started asking questions at once and even though her father explained the reasons—living in New York and traveling to South Carolina regularly made it difficult to be a present father—it didn’t help ease the tension. The adults moved to the living room, leaving her alone with the boy who held her heart in the palm of his hands.

“Sit under the stars with me?” he asked softly and she nodded, wiping away her tears as she followed him out of the house.

The first time he’d asked her that was a few years ago, after a particularly bad day at school. Someone had left chewed up bubble gum on her seat. She’d spent the rest of the day getting it off her clothes, giving everyone an excuse to pick on her until she locked herself in the girl’s bathroom. Rafferty found out and showed up at her bedroom door later that evening with her favorite snacks, and asked her to sit under the stars with him. They stayed on the steps of her brownstone, naming the stars and counting cars driving past. Somehow he managed to make her feel less miserable and loved in a few short hours.

When either of them had a rough day,sit under the stars with me?became their code for ‘let’s get out of here for a bit’.

That evening, they sat on the stairs and she set her head on his shoulder while he rambled on about some new stars he’d read up on. She wasn’t listening to the words, just letting the timbre of his voice settle into her bones.

She whispered, “Want to spend the summer with me, Raff?”

“I’ll spend every summer of my life with you, Hero,” he replied instantly.

A week later, Rafferty had come home with a sheet of paper that was titledDaisy and Rafferty’s One Last Summer.He’d taken her request seriously and planned the best summer of their lives. Everything from multiple visits to Coney Island and walking along all the bridges in the city, to rating the parks based on silly statistics like the number of thick trees and flower varieties, even visiting new pizza places and discovering ice cream shops. They’d even done impulsive things like go to late night movies, sneak into a club for a wild party and walk into the bodega he was banned from.

She’d asked him every single morning if he’d prefer to be with his college friends, but he brushed her off. It made her feel really good to know that no matter what, he wanted to be with her. She didn’t know what college people were like, but she figured they would think what the two of them were doing was childish. Not that it mattered to her, because spending time with Rafferty was all she ever wanted to do.

It was the day before she left and they were sitting on the stairs in silence, admiring the night sky. The stars weren’t bright that evening, so she was counting the number of planes that flew overhead. Even though she was exhausted, yawns threatening togive her away, Daisy refused to leave. It had been the best day ever and she didn’t want it to end.

“We should get you into bed, you’ve got a long drive tomorrow,” he said, bumping his thigh against hers.

“Not yet.” She smiled at him. “I want to sit under the stars with you a little longer.”

She had counted ten planes while they sat there, aware of the way he watched her. She’d done the same to him when they were getting ice cream earlier. He’d always been such a beautiful boy, especially when he smiled, and she found that he smiled a lot that summer. His dark hair was short on the sides and slightly longer on top, there was a soft layer of fuzz growing on his face and his golden eyes sparkled every time they looked at each other.

Daisy had hoped that at some point during the summer together, she would have been able to build up enough courage to tell him how she felt. Except it seemed too mean to do that right before she left, because what was the point of admitting anything when they might not actually see each other again?

“I’m going to miss you, Raff.”

She was proud of how strong she sounded when she said that, because she didn’tfeelstrong. The words tasted awful coming off her tongue, but they had to be said. He nudged her and she bumped him back, both of them laughing as her hand landed on his thigh. Their gazes snapped to the contact before he was sliding his hand under hers and linking their fingers. When he turned those golden irises on her, she stopped breathing.

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