Rolling my eyes, I chew and swallow before speaking. “I was thinking about Elias.”
“God, Vee, keep it in your pants.”
“Fuck off.” She laughs and shovels a heap of noodles into her mouth, nodding at me to continue. “We hadtheconversation.”
Tamara holds a hand up and chews quickly. Once she’s swallowed, eyes wide, she says, “Did you say you love him?”
“No! Not yet. I…I’m not ready forthatyet. But we discussed being more than fuck buddies.”
“Oh.Oh, this is juicy. Gimme the details.”
With a dramatic sigh, I relay everything from the secret gig to him being swoony as fuck and the evening taking a hard turn. But when I’m done, my cheeks hurt from all the smiling. I am happy and I feel really good. Even if I’m keeping certain things close to the chest. It’s a matter of self-preservation and even if it’s been three years, heartbreak still hurts like a bitch.
“You’re his girlfriend. How high school of you,” she teases and I poke her with my foot.
“It does sound childish, but it feels good to say it? It slipped out and gave me the chills. The good kind.”
“I’m happy for you, Vee. You deserve to have this young, handsome stud worship you every single day.”
Her words make me sigh and I sink into the couch, popping a Flaming Salmon roll into my mouth. Elias worries he’s not goodenough for me or the world, but some days, I worry I might be too much for him. He can reassure me all he wants, but I’ve heard it from enough people and IknowI’m not demure and sweet. But when he says he likes me wild, he means it and I love him for it.
“Speaking of worshipping, I’m back on the apps,” she says and my eyes widen. “I know, Iknow. There’s this new kid at the office and she swore to make my profile banging or whatever. So I took a chance and…got a few hits this morning.”
“People are swiping in the morning?”
She laughs. “Good options too.”
“So, what? You’re looking to hook up or something else?”
“I don’t know. I can give myself orgasms, so I’m not sure what the purpose is.”
“You want the truth or a comforting answer?”
“The truth, obviously. We don’t lie to each other.”
“Sure,” I mumble sarcastically and she kicks me. “You were in an eight-year relationship with someone you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. You got comfortable in the monogamous bubble and going back to the free bird lifestyle is…complicated.”
“Ugh. But I want to erase the monogamy from my life.”
“Maybe you need to take it one day at a time. Like you said, you don’t need someone else for the orgasms, so enjoy the time you have to yourself for a bit.”
She nods slowly. “Do you miss the slut life?”
I chuckle and stretch my legs out, setting my feet on the coffee table. “Not really. I wasn’t looking for monogamy either, but I guess on some level it suits me. Plus, when the other person isreallygood with handing out orgasms like fucking Oprah, you don’t really complain.”
“And you say you’re not in love with him.”
“For fuck’s sake, Tam.” I shake my head, realising that arguing with her about it is so silly. “I didn’t say I’mnot. It’s only been a month and change. Isn’t that really fast? Besides, what we have right now is good. He’s kind, annoyingly beautiful and the sex is stellar.”
“Don’t forget the fact that he’s single-handedly taking the Renegades to the championship they so desperately need.” At my surprised look, she shrugs. “Showing a little support for the man making my cousin happy.”
“You’re ridiculous,” I tell her and we share a laugh.
James looks sheepish as he steps into my office. “The Renegades team is in the conference room.”
“Thanks.” I turn to Tamara, who hasn’t budged an inch. “You wanna hang around until I finish my meeting?”
“I’d love to, but I do have some work to do. Next time?”