Page 75 of Remade

I smiled and exchanged an amused glance with Adrien.

Topic successfully changed.

CHAPTER 7

June 6th, 2025

Leighton Watts

4:30.

My eyes flashed open.

Today’s the day.

I sat up in bed and let my feet hit the linoleum floor, and I peered out the window.

I yawned.

My stomach knotted with nerves.

I’d been told Ecuador was a gorgeous country, but I hadn’t seen much of it. We’d flown commercial into Quito, where Operator Hyatt had been waiting for us in a helicopter, after which we’d flown straight up into the mountains in the very north of the country. Close to the Colombian border. Here, Hillcroft had their training facility and some four thousand acres of jungle.

The facility was essentially a one-story square brick, with a big courtyard at the center. They had classrooms, rec rooms, mess hall, and dorms here. They also had near-constant cloudcover, so every day was a new opportunity to see nothing but gray clouds and fog.

The air up here was thinner too.

I yawned again and scrubbed my hands over my face.

I’d come to discover that I didn’t sleep well without Bo nearby anymore, but it wouldn’t look good if we shared a dorm while we were up here. Each room had two single beds, and I had to make it work without my security blanket.

I looked out the window again. The courtyard was empty of life, and it’d be a while before the sun came up. We’d been told to set the alarm for seven, but I wanted this extra time to prepare mentally.

I guessed I hadn’t considered how significant this would feel, being up here, getting ready to complete Hillcroft’s final selection. It wasn’t just about my future career, but the years I’d lived through since losing my mom.

If I met that version of myself today, of the scared kid who’d barely had the guts to express his grief, I wouldn’t recognize myself. I’d been so clumsy and scrawny and nervous.

I’d felt betrayed and angry too, and though I’d processed most of that—everything Mom had done—I hadn’t changed my behavior. I’d only ever visited her grave once, after basic training, and I’d felt stupid being there. No idea why. It was just weird. Like, she wasn’t there.

To me, it was a masochist’s move. I didn’t need visual reminders to remember her death. My memories of Mom were locked up in my mind for safekeeping, away from my anger, away from the sting of betrayal. Every now and then, I could open the box and peer inside—and remember all the times we drove around visiting national parks, county fairs, and beaches. I couldn’t hear her laughter anymore, but I could see her face lit up with smiles.

I missed her.

Dad took up a bigger part of my brain these days, and I needed him there. He was in good company. Watching videos of him growing up had given him a strong voice, where he stood with Bo, Crew, Shay, Ryan, Willow, and Darius.

I’d stolen moments captured in videos, and I’d inserted them in my mind to give him a voice.

His presence meant the world to me, as did the others’.

I’d only heard Willow’s voice twice in person, but we had our way of communicating while she got more comfortable around me, and it reflected how I saw her in my head. She had her expressions. I was in no rush for the rest. As long as she stayed there in my mind, as part of my mental support group, I’d make it. With them in my life, I felt stronger and confident.

Wanting to get ready for the day, I spent the next half hour stretching, going to the bathroom, taking a shower, and putting on my new clothes. The shirt alone was, like, seventy fucking dollars, but Shay swore by it. He’d used something similar when he’d been here. The fabric breathed and felt light, all while it clung like a second skin and warded off moisture. I had long johns in the same material, so that made up my base layer. Then utility pants and a regular Henley followed. Good socks, good boots.

Deep breaths.

Two weeks on my own in the rainforest. Two weeks of trekking in valleys and mountains, across rivers, through the thickest terrain, in a world where the wild ruled with chaos and teeth. Snakes, ants, spiders, frogs, piranhas, jaguars, caimans, freakingplants… No biggie. So what if everything wanted to kill me in that jungle.

Pills and repellent could protect us to various degrees from certain fevers and parasites, but at the end of the day, we were on our own against some of the most dangerous creatures on earth, with the worst one being our fears. I’d studied hard in Bo’sclass, and I’d heeded his warnings. While the dangers were real, they were overhyped. The odds of me getting mauled by a jaguar were about the same as me getting struck by lightning. I was way more likely to drink bad water or fall into a hidden pit.

---