Page 12 of The Complication
“I thought I’d made it very clear that I’m gay. Do I need to be more obvious?” It was easier to fall back on sarcasm. It was like moving a protective shield into place after being so vulnerable and broken for so fucking long.
“No, you’ve been quite obvious, but there could have been circumstances.”
Now, wasn’t that a great word? Circumstances. That covered all types of sins and disasters.
Declan’s manner was so forthright and his attention unwavering that I found my protective shield slipping from my grasp even as I tried to secure it. I couldn’t remain sarcastic, no matter how hard I tried.
“Molly was my best friend. We’d known each other since elementary school. She wanted a baby, but she didn’t want to do the marriage route. She asked me to donate the sperm to help make Joy. So, biologically, I am her father. But there was no plan for me to step into Joy’s life as her day-to-day father. But…”
“There was an accident,” Declan supplied as the words became stuck in my throat.
I nodded. “Last week was about getting the funeral arranged and moving all of Joy’s things into my apartment. Figuring out how to even care for a baby. My parents flew in after it happened and they were helping me for a while, but they returned home after the funeral.” I sighed, balling the monogrammed linen handkerchief in my fist. “Why does this have to be so hard? Yesterday wasn’t a total disaster, but this morning, Joy had a low fever. I squeezed in for the first pediatrician appointment of the day and they said it wasn’t anything serious. They gave me some medicine and sent us on our way, but because she has a fever, I couldn’t take her to daycare. And I-I-I don’t have any other daycare lined up for her. I didn’t want to bring her to the office, but there was no other option. Plus, I’m out of PTO days, and the money is really going to be needed now that I’m raising a kid.”
“Did Molly have any other family who could help you?”
“No. She was an only child, and her parents are older. I think they’re in town for a little while longer, and then they’re flying home to Arizona. Any other friends we had are working stiffs like me. No one can babysit during the day. Not that I’m even sure I’d trust any of them with a baby if they could,” Imuttered at the end. The few friends I had outside of Molly were wild and crazy twentysomethings who had no interest in kids and marriage. I doubted any of them had ever held a baby, let alone changed a diaper.
Declan grunted and frowned at the floor as if he were deep in thought. “I will speak to HR for you. See if we can pull together more time. Bereavement or paternal leave for a new baby.”
“I appreciate it, but I doubt you’re going to make much more progress than I did. Bereavement only covers close family such as a spouse or parent. And paternal leave only covers when a new baby is first born. Joy is six months old. Not to mention, if I took it, it’s not paid leave. I can’t afford any unpaid time right now.”
“That can’t be right. Courtland Enterprises has an excellent benefits package for its employees.”
I couldn’t quite stop the snort that escaped me. “First, I’m not technically an employee, so I don’t have access to all your benefits. I’m lucky to get what I get. And second, Courtland has excellent benefitsby American standards. If we were in western Europe, I’m sure I would get all the paid time I needed to get Joy settled and a proper support system established.”
Shit. I bit the inside of my mouth. That was not something I should have said if I wanted to become a full-time employee with Courtland. You shouldn’t bite the hand you wanted to feed you on a long-term basis.
“Sorry,” I mumbled.
But Declan’s expression grew darker. “I will speak with HR.”
He stood and walked around his desk to sit behind his computer. He typed a few things and then gathered up some random stacks of paper and his calendar. After using his phone to forward his calls to my phone, he stood. “I will move to your office for the day. Be sure to have your calls forwardedto this phone. Mrs. Turner will return with some items to help the baby be more comfortable. If you need to bring Joy into the office tomorrow, please message me in the morning and we will swap offices again.”
I jumped to my feet. “Declan…sir, this is unnecessary. We can be comfortable in my office.”
“No. Your office is too small. You will remain here.”
Declan had a way of stating things that had a very final air to them. As if his words formed a giant stone wall you couldn’t hope to push through, so you gave up and went along with him.
“Thank you. I am sorry for this inconvenience. I know this isn’t a great time, but I hope you’ll remember my strong work performance during the past three months, and still consider me for this position if it becomes a more permanent opening.”
He paused for a moment and made a soft noise of agreement before heading to the door.
“Oh! Wait!” I called out as he was about to leave. “I forgot to ask. What did you come to see me about?”
For the first time since I’d met him, Declan appeared uncomfortable and reluctant to answer me. After a couple of seconds, he spit out in his usual brusque tone, “The report you handed in is incomplete and riddled with errors. Fix it.” He licked his lips and continued in a somewhat softer tone. “I think…you might have given me an early draft rather than the completed one. When you find the right one, you can email it to me. I’ll print it out later.”
He left without another word, which was good because I was too busy watching the shattered remains of my hopes and self-confidence fall to the floor. I dropped into the seat I’d just left and whispered curses at my own stupidity.
Perfect timing. I’d bragged about my so-called strong work performance right after I’d made the most thoughtless blunder. How could I have not double-checked the reportafter I’d printed it out? I was never so careless with my work.
I could see my chances of getting hired on at Courtland circling the toilet bowl as I flushed them away.
Idiot.
A soft groan escaped, and I glanced at Joy to find that she’d fallen asleep with her head on my shoulder. At least she didn’t have to witness her father being an absolute moron. There was still plenty of time for that, though.
However, there was no point in wasting more time wallowing in my misery. I placed her in her carrier chair that doubled as a car seat and settled behind Declan’s desk.
