Page 18 of The Complication
I’d almost asked if he’d recently moved in but swallowed the question. If he hadn’t and this was how he preferred to live, then to ask would be insulting.
At the beginning of the second-floor hallway, Declan pushed open a door and led the way into a large bedroom that had to be at least twice the size of my old one with a simple but beautiful king-sized bed with a gray comforter and matching pillows. He turned on one of the bedside lamps and set the two bags down at the foot of the bed while I put Joy’s chair on the end of the bed and worked on getting her out of it. Thankfully, she’d fallen asleep during the drive to Declan’s and was still zonked out after the day’s excitement.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Declan’s frown as I set Joy in the center of the bed and created a pillow barrier around her. She was just starting to get good at rolling over, but the pillows were more than big enough to stop her from falling off the bed.
“We should get her a new bed,” Declan whispered.
My head snapped to him, and my mouth hung open at his pronouncement. The man was ready to step in and spend whatever money was necessary to make Joy comfortable. I’d witnessed his eagerness to splurge on Joy a week ago in the office, but it still rocked me to my core. It wasn’t that I’d ever thought Declan to be a stingy man. Just detached. I’d never expected him to notice something like Joy’s comfort or happiness.
“No!” I hissed in a low voice. “We won’t be staying long. Besides, you bought a bunch of stuff for her last week. You can’t keep spending money on her like that.”
“Why not?”
Why not?Wasn’t it obvious? Normal people didn’t do that.
“Besides, all the stuff was likely lost in the fire, correct? It will need to be replaced.”
I reached for Declan to shake him, but I curled my fingers into fists and marched to the other side of the room so I could throw myself into one of the two overstuffed chairs.
Yes, the room was large enough to have a sitting area.
Declan followed me, but he didn’t sit. He hovered, his frown deepening, but it wasn’t a look of displeasure. Those usually amused me because it meant my teasing had annoyed him, and he always let his annoyance out as very excellent sex. No, this frown was a mark of confusion.
“I don’t understand why you’re determined to help me. You hate me,” I argued, being careful not to speak too loudly and wake Joy from her nap.
The tall, brooding blond rocked back a step. “I don’t hate you. Why do you keep saying that? I couldn’t fuck someone I hated.”
That was a pretty good point. “Well, you don’t actually like me.”
“Why do you believe that? I find you annoying at times, but we both know you do that on purpose. When you’re not being intentionally annoying, you’re…interesting. You have a refreshing take on things, and I enjoy listening to you.”
His words stole my breath away. There was nothing in my brain. The poor, overtaxed thing had stopped working by the time Declan had found me outside my apartment complex and every attempt to reboot had been met with one new shock after another. But his thoughts on me didn’t match how I’d believed he felt about me.
Those first few months together, he’d come to my place for sex and then be out the door before either of our heart rates had returned to normal. However, more recently, he’d lingered afterward longer and longer. Sometimes we’d go another round, but mostly, we’d lounge in bed together with my head on his chest while I talked a bunch of nonsense. I hadn’t even thought he’d been listening to me.
Declan cleared his throat as if he’d just realized what he’dadmitted to me. “The point is, I believe we have become friends, and I believe in helping my friends. You need help, and I can provide that with ease.”
“Thank you.” I took a deep breath, trying to organize my thoughts to add more, but everything was racing around in my head, fractured and disjointed. It all felt too big, too much. I released the air locked in my lungs and said the one thing I could. “Thank you. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t called.”
“You would have figured it out.”
I was shaking my head as I spoke. “Everything has been a disaster since Molly died. I know nothing about taking care of a baby. The only time things felt a little smooth was when my parents were in town, and my mom was helping with Joy. I wasn’t terrified that I was screwing her up every second she was awake. Molly left Joy in my care, not because I’m her biological father, but because she trusted me. Yet, now I’m homeless. I’ve lost her things. The things that Molly picked out for her. Gifts from her parents. I’ve lost all my art, my clothes. On top of the fact that I’m utterly useless.”
“Stop,” Declan snapped in a louder voice. My entire body jolted, and I sat up straight. “You don’t know what you’ve lost yet. The most important thing is that you and Joy are safe. Many things are replaceable, and there’s still time for you to make more art.”
“You’re right. I’m thinking…maybe…I should head back to Arizona. If I’m close to my parents and the rest of my family, I’ll have people who can help me with Joy. At least until I get better at being a dad.”
“I don’t think it’s wise to make any big life-changing decisions right now. You’ve been through a lot of heavy, stressful events. Stay here for a while in the peace and quiet. Recuperate. Get some rest, so you can be sure that you’re making decisions with a clear head.”
What Declan was saying was smart and very logical, yet Icouldn’t stop the bitter laugh that escaped me. “Rest. I feel like I’ve barely slept in the past two weeks. I’m running on adrenaline and fear. My body is exhausted, but my brain is wired with nervous energy.”
Declan stood over me, his frown growing fiercer. As I was coming up with something to brush off his concerns, Declan nodded.
The taller man reached down, grabbed my wrist, and pulled me to my feet. The heat of his hand burned my skin, but there was something so calming about his touch. Something familiar when the whole world seemed wrong. But he didn’t stop there. Still holding my wrist, he dragged me across the room to the en suite bathroom. With his free hand, he flipped on the light to reveal pristine white walls with subtle touches of black tile and brushed-nickel fixtures.
“What are you doing?” I demanded as he pulled the door nearly shut. Declan left it open enough to hear my daughter if she stirred.
“I’m going to make you come.”
