Page 65 of The Complication
So, five days a week, I sat in the middle of the office with its shining wood desk and dark-wood bookshelves while Declan was at work, and I stared at those walls, trying to will myself to define this man who dominated so much of my life.
And it didn’t help that my mom’s words were still replaying in my head, gnawing away at my sanity.
Why was I still living here in Declan’s house?
It wasn’t a money issue. The insurance company had coughed up the money I was owed for the fire more than a month ago. Declan had also paid me a huge down payment for the murals I was painting around his house. It went without mentioning that Declan refused to let me pay for anything. All of Joy’s and my grocery needs were added to his own bill. My bank account was practically overflowing with cash. Yes, I’d enjoyed the luxurious furnishings and having someone to cook for me every fucking day. There was no worrying about cleaning, doing the laundry, or making runs to the grocery store for baby food and diapers. It was all done for me. My entire focus could be on caring for Joy, painting, and spending time with Declan.
But beyond the luxury, living with Declan meant that every day I woke up with a safety net. Whether it was Declan, Franks, or Donovan, there was always someone right there to lend me a hand if I had a problem.
Of course, Declan and I were dating now. Living in his house meant we had even more time together. I was sleeping in his room more often than not.
Yet, if the fire had not happened, if my life hadn’t taken on all these unexpected complications, would I be living with Declan right now?
Fuck, no.
Parker Cain liked his independence. After moving out on my own, I’d never attempted to live with anyone. Not even Molly after we finished college. I’d grown up with three siblings. Having my own space and privacy was a dream come true. It hadn’t mattered if my apartment was small and crappy. That space was all mine.
Why had I thrown all of that out the window and crawled into this helpless little ball?
Without the fire, I wouldn’t be living here with Declan, no matter how great we’d gotten along. We’d been dating for a month. Just because we’d known each other a year didn’t mean I would jump into living with him. Besides, he’d stated when we first began hanging out that he had zero interest in kids. I knew he liked and cared for Joy, but that didn’t mean that he wanted to be in a long-term relationship with someone who had a kid. Right? Because of that stupid fire and my own insecurity, we’d jumped ahead way too many steps.
No, not insecurity. Terror. I wasterrifiedof stepping outside that front door alone with a baby. Molly was dead and my home had burned down. What was going to happen next? Would something happen to my parents? Would hackers drain my bank account? Would I break both of my hands and never be able to paint again? What if something happened to Joy?
I flinched, and my brain immediately skittered away from that horrific thought.
What the hell was I doing?
“Parker?”
My head snapped up from where I was sitting in the middle of Declan’s office. I’d been glaring at my blank sketch pad for God only knew how long. “Hey,” I said roughly. Thoughts cluttered up my brain and for a moment, I couldn’t even remember what I’d been doing. Maybe I needed some sleep. Joy had gone down for the night and I’d retreated to Declan’s office hoping to get some kind of late-night inspiration.
“Are you okay?”
I grunted and pushed to my feet. I’d stolen Declan’s desk chair and rolled it around to the center of the room. “Yeah, I’m good. Just tired, I guess.”
“Was Joy okay with daycare today?”
Placing my hand on the top of the chair, I pushed it behind Declan’s desk, putting it away. “Yeah. Traffic was a fucking bear, though. Another accident on the highway slowedeverything to a crawl and got me stuck in the beginning of rush hour.”
As I moved away from Declan’s desk, he stepped past me and opened a drawer to pull out a manila folder with a stack of papers inside.
“I’ve been thinking about the daycare situation ever since Joy got sick,” Declan started, and I shuddered. Memory of the plague that swept through the house still sent a chill along my spine. Not only was it the first major illness that Joy suffered since coming into my care, but I still felt guilty for the way it cut through everyone in the house.
“What do you mean?”
Declan handed me the folder. I opened to discover that it was a thick stack of résumés. Most of the applicants appeared to be women. I read down to find that these were applicants for nannies.
“I thought that if we hired a live-in nanny to take care of Joy, you wouldn’t have to worry about making the drive to and from daycare with her. It would save you time and free you from the frustration of battling traffic. In addition, keeping Joy home would allow her to stay in her safe, familiar environment. Not to mention, it would reduce her exposure to germs and random viruses that kids are passing around.”
“No.”
“But—”
I didn’t let him get any further than that. The folder slapped closed, and I shoved it back into his hands. “Absolutely not.”
“If this is about the expense…”
“No. Thanks to all the commissions I have between you and your friends, I have plenty of money to pay for a live-in nanny. That’s not the problem. The issue I have with it is everything else. No. Absolutely not.”
