Page 67 of The Complication
“No. But it’s different with you.”
“Am I different or convenient? We enjoy each other’s company, the sex is great, and me living here makes things easy.”
“It’s not wrong just because it’s easy.”
I sighed. “True. Okay, think about it this way. If this wereJoy and her apartment burned up, would you be okay if she went from temporarily living with a friend to dating andliving with this personin under two months?”
Declan’s thin lips pressed into a hard line, which I took for a definite no. But the answer I got surprised me. “Your mother said something about you living here.”
My shoulders slumped. “Yes, she did. Not that she has any problem with you. She likes you. However, she also knows her very independent son. I don’t jump into relationships. And I don’t jump into living with someone. What if I’m doing all of this because I’m scared of fucking up Joy’s life and more things going wrong? I can’t live my life being scared and relying on you to make it all better.”
“Actually, you can,” Declan argued. I glared at him, but the asshole didn’t take his words back. He slipped his hands into the pockets of his slacks and moved to stand directly in front of me. “I hear what you’re saying. I don’t like it, but I understand it. What do you want to do? Do you plan to leave?”
“Y-yes,” I stammered, forcing myself to actually say the words that had become lodged in my throat. “This has all been rattling around in my head for the past several days, and I think…I know that I need to stand on my own for a while. To at least try to put my life together again. Like I’d originally planned.”
Declan stared at me in silence for a long time. His face was an unreadable mask. Over the past year, I’d gotten good at being able to read him, but this time, he was completely closed off. When Declan spoke, it was to carve out the remains of my heart. “If I had my way, you and Joy would always stay here. We’d continue living like we have been. I want you and Joy to feel like you belong here. Not that you settled.”
He walked out of his office and disappeared down the hall, carrying the chunks of my heart he’d claimed for himself.
I didn’t want to leave him, but I also didn’t want to lookback at my life and wonder what the fuck I was doing. There was no way in hell I was letting someone as special and amazing as Declan become a regret. He deserved better. And that meant he might deserve far better than me.
23
DECLAN FOSTER
One week later…
“Well,this can’t be good if you’re here.”
Rome’s words couldn’t be more accurate. It was rare that I went to his downtown penthouse, and he was usually my very last choice for advice. But I was desperate and strangely enough, Rome felt like my best option.
“I need your help,” I announced. “I fucked up.”
Rome’s quizzical expression turned into a wry smile. “And you came to see me. I just love how your first thought was to talk to me.” He stepped away from the door and waved me inside.
The penthouse was in the old Shilito building, which had been one of the first department stores in the country more than a century ago. The building had been completely gutted and remodeled into luxury apartments. When the owner of the building was searching for investors, Rome jumped on it and bought the entire top floor. His place was remodeled in the art deco style that was so prevalent in the old buildings around Cincinnati. Everywhere the eye traveled, there was brushed nickel in smooth, clean lines and geometric shapes,gleaming black marble and dark wood. Even the artwork embraced the art deco and modernist tones.
“Out of our friends, I feel you’ve spent a lot of time apologizing to people you’re dating,” I said to Rome’s back as I followed him along the foyer to the living room filled with elegant, pale-gray furniture.
Rome threw himself into a chair and narrowed his eyes at me. “You know, you’re not really doing much to ingratiate yourself to me. Kind of something you want to do if I’m going to help you.”
I gave my slacks a little tug at the thighs, I sat opposite him, and placed my left ankle on my right knee. “And I thought we were friends. Aren’t friends supposed to help each other?” I arched an eyebrow at him, and Rome met me glare for glare. But I relented first. He was right. I needed his help. “Please. I need your advice.”
His narrow face split into an affable grin immediately, and his eyes twinkled with laughter. Sebastian and I had met Rome while we were in college. I’d actually ended up getting along better with Rome’s best friends, Pierce and Sawyer, than him, while we’d temporarily lost Sebastian to that asshole boyfriend of his, Thomas Cross.
Yet while I tended to not say much to Rome, I did like the guy. He was silly and ridiculous, but he was also relentlessly fearless. The man dove into everything he did without a moment of hesitation. When something new interested him, he embraced it like he wanted to become the world’s foremost expert on that topic. He usually didn’t because something else shiny would catch his attention. I admired his endless enthusiasm for life and his ability to let go of mistakes. Two things I was not very good at.
Rome bounced to the edge of his seat and rubbed his hands together as though he were about to dive straight into my life and fix it with a monkey wrench and elbow grease. “Okay. What’s the problem? That Parker leave you?”
“Yes.”
Rome flinched, pulling his hands up to his face like he thought I was going to hit him. “Shit. Fuck. Sorry! How? Really…just how? At Sebastian’s, he seemed like he was totally into you. I thought the man was going to fucking throw down over some teasing.”
I couldn’t argue with him. While I knew Parker had been more stressed and distracted since Joy’s bout with the virus, I hadn’t thought we were having troubles. But I’d been wrong.
“Okay. Okay.” Rome waved his hands at me as he leaned forward. His expression grew serious, like he was ready to give me his full attention. “Talk to me. What happened?”
So I told him about the nanny suggestion, but also about Parker’s growing insecurity about himself regarding his reticence to leave my home. I’d thought he hadn’t wanted to leave simply because I’d created a comfortable and welcoming environment in which to stay. If he was happy in my home, why would he want to leave? That made little sense to me.
