Page 81 of Caged

“I know.” I said it more to get her off my back than anything else.

“But do you believe it?” she asked, refusing to let it go.

Sort of. “I’ve never felt close to my parents.” Probably because it seemed like they heaped praise on my siblings and scolded me. “And even less so with my brothers.” I knew they loved me, but I never felt like I fit in. “I’m not like any of them. They’re all so smart, did well in school, and they stayed out of trouble.” I was the rebellious kid who was easily bored and rarely did his homework.

“You know you don’t have to be like them, right? Jaime and Jack are different and they get along great. You bring your own unique gifts to your family, to the team, you just have to let others see them.”

I took a second to really let her words sink in, before I could respond, she said, “From what I've heard, Jack got in his fair share of trouble and hated being compared to Jamie because he felt like he didn’t measure up.”

My head snapped up. How the hell did she know that? She’d only been with SSI a few months; I’d been a Sheppard my whole life and had no idea.

“They seemed so close.” It felt like Catelyn had opened my eyes, helping me accept what I’d known but refused to see.

With her help, what my parents had been telling me my whole life finally sank in. It wasn’t that I hadn’t heard them; I just never believed them. I’d convinced myself they expected me to be like my brothers, no matter what they said.

Catelyn made a harrumph noise, sounding a lot like she didn’t believe me, but she changed the subject. “I understand you feel like the black sheep, but that doesn’t really explain your lack of trust. So tell me, Sheppard, how does a MARSOC team guy become a lone wolf in his family’s business?”

Aiming below the belt, she went for the kill shot.Not that she knew it.

I was a team player, and the man I saw in the mirror was nothing like the brat who left for Parris Island. My current ‘lone wolf’ attitude had very little to do with my family and everything to do with Sara and Henderson.

I didn’t want to tell her about Sara, because thinking about her always sent me spiraling into heartbreak, and rage fueled frenzy. But as she asked more questions, no doubt using her fancy psychology degree to break down my walls, I found myself opening up.

So for the first time since it happened, I told someone.

“Did you know I was supposed to backpack around the country before starting at SSI?”

“Yeah, your father mentioned it.”

“Well, I was supposed to go with my girlfriend and some guys from my unit. Sara and I had been dating over a year; she was the first woman I ever felt serious about.”

“What happened?” she asked after my pause lasted too long.

“A teammate got injured and came home early. Sara lived near base, so I asked her to visit him once in awhile so he wouldn’t feel lonely. Which she did. A lot.” I paused before forcing the words out. “She cheated on me.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Catelyn asked, much louder than a whisper.

“Just before I returned stateside, she emailed to tell me she’d fallen in love with someone else.”

“I’m so sorry, Jaden.” She placed a gentle hand on my forearm.

It was the first time she called me Jaden without my brothers around, when it was too confusing to call me Sheppard.

I like how it sounds.

“How close were you to your teammate?”

Close enough that his betrayal hurt more than hers.

“It was Henderson.” Getting a “Dear John” letter wasn’t unusual for deployed Marines, but getting one because your best friend was fucking your girlfriend was.

“The same Henderson you were captured with?” I heard the disbelief in her voice.

“One and the same.”

“Damn, I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah. He was my team buddy and my best friend. The man who’d watched my six when we were in the deepest pits of hell slept with my girlfriend.” Catelyn Maxwell now knew more than any member of my family. Thought I still hadn’t told her I’d planned on proposing to Sara during the trip.

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