Page 19 of My Orc Nanny

“Uh-oh Doshy!” He grinned toothily up at me, and my heart clenched. Gods below, he was adorable, wasn’t he?

“Good job, Joshy,” I repeated, then braced my hands on my knees to push myself out of the crouch. But the boy surprised me by, without warning, dropping the dustpan and broom into the garbage and throwing himself at me.

I had no choice but to catch him, which put me off-balance, and I rolled backwards onto my ass, then my back.

The toddler, clutched to my chest, thought this was the most amazing thing in the world, and chortled uproariously.

Well, really, was there anything I could doexcepttickle his soft little sides and feel his joy as he kicked and squealed?

That’s why I was lying flat on my back, spread eagle on the kitchen tile, when Ben—looking sleep-tousled and grumpy—stepped into the kitchen, scratching his hair. “You two are loud,” he groused. “Why is the broom in the trashcan?”

I grinned up at him. “We had a bit of an accident.”

“Uh-oh, Doshy! Doshy boom and cwean!”

“Iseeyou used the broom,” Ben grumbled, bending to pull the dustpan from the garbage. “Good work. What’s for breakfast?”

Trying to decide if the boy was angry or just always like this in the morning, I clutched his brother to my shoulder and rolled to my feet. “Well, considering we’re only two hours from lunch, I would say: Whatever you can catch and kill.”

Ben swung on me, eyes wide. “What?”

I shrugged, and since Joshua was draped over my shoulder, that sent him into peals of laughter. “I just mean, you slept in past breakfast, so if Ihadmade something, you missed it. Why not get a snack, then you can join us for lunch. We could do pizza again.”

“No, I mean…” He shook his head in disbelief. “Whatever you can catch and kill? I’m not eating a squirrel!”

I pretended to eye him speculatively. “Do you honestly think you could catch and kill a squirrel?”

“Skerl!” hooted Joshua happily. “Skerls eat nuts!”

“That’s right,” I told him, patting his bottom distractedly. “Squirrels eat nuts. I suppose your brother could use nuts to bait a trap to?—”

“I’m not catching and killing a squirrel!” blurted Ben frantically. Then he took a deep breath and cocked his head to one side, considering me. “Doyouknow how to catch and kill squirrels? Is that what orcs eat for breakfast?”

Ah.

Um, I might have done Orc-Human Cultural Understanding a disservice here.

Shifting Joshua up around the back of my neck, so he could pull on my hair, I considered how to respond. “Well…not anymore. I eat normal food just like you—I told you I owned a restaurant?”

“Skerl yummy!” hollered the toddler, pounding on my head until I winced.

“Totally normal foods. Burgers, fries, pizzas, steaks, seafood. But…” I met Ben’s eyes and shrugged, sending Joshua laughing again. “When I was younger, before I came to your world, Ididused to have to catch and kill animals if I wanted to eat meat.”

Ben’s eyes had gone even wider, and it looked like sleep was a long way from his mind. “Seriously? You like…skinned them and everything?”

“Not squirrels, but…yeah.”

“Cool.” Before I could register my surprise at such a response, Ben hurried to ask, “Can you teach me?”

I blinked. “You want to know how to catch and kill squirrels? I doubt that’s what your mother had in mind forsummer enrichment…”

“Comeon, dude!” Ben climbed into the bar stool at the counter, looking far more animated than earlier. “Just tell me about it. Setting traps, how to use a knife. I promise I won’t kill any squirrels.”

“Skerls yummy!” hollered his little brother, and I had to grin ruefully.

Well, Ihadwanted to bond with the children, hadn’t I?

As Joshua played, Ben and I talked about my life in the orc’s mountains, and how it differed from Colorado, where we’d moved to. Using online videos, I told him about thedifferent animals, and how we caught and butchered them. I was surprised how interested he was, but I supposed itwasdifferent than what his friends got up to.

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